"The hotels are lousy. The
Olympic village is a mess. The food is horrible. And, well, that's what happens
when you tick off gay people." –David Letterman
"While attempting to light the
Olympic flame, Vladimir Putin's body oil caught on fire." –David Letterman
"This is the last night Jay
Leno is hosting 'The Tonight Show.' Good luck, Jay. The lesson here is if you
work hard and succeed, someday you will be fired." –Craig Ferguson
"That's why I'm happy right
here. They can't fire you if they don't know you're on the air." –Craig
Ferguson
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