"President
Obama gave his State of the Union address tonight. The rebuttal will be given
by Marco Rubio. Or as he's known in the Republican Party, 'our black
guy.'" –Conan O'Brien
"The
Pope is resigning. I just hope it's not steroids." –Jay Leno
"The
Vatican said that as soon as the Pope resigns, he will no
longer be infallible. The Vatican said it's the same thing that happened to
Oprah." –Conan O'Brien
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