still slightly less than the number of Republicans who believe JFK Jr. is going to rise from the dead to create an even better pillow (not my place to editorialize)

December 2022

“Joe Biden’s signed of the Respect for Marriage Act, which enshrines respect for same-sex marriage into federal law. There has been a dramatic increase in support for marriage equality in the past 20 years, even among Republicans, which has risen from 19% in 2004 to 43%. So progress, but still slightly less than the number of Republicans who believe JFK Jr. is going to rise from the dead to create an even better pillow.” —Stephen Colbert

“According to new reports, the then White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows, texted with 34 Republicans lawmakers in the days before January 6th, exchanging ideas and suggestions for how they could overturn the election and keep Trump in office. That is unbelievable – 34 people wanted to talk to Mark Meadows. These members of Congress communicating with Meadows were – and it’s not my place to editorialize – stupid, evil traitors who were trying to do crimes against democracy, for which they should be punished with decades of jail time.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Thank God this coup wasn’t planned by people who could solve the Wordle (Even Scooby-Doo villains know not to write it down)

December 2022

“More details about the lead-up to the January 6th attack on the Capitol have surfaced. It’s even crazier than the crazy we previously thought was so crazy. Turns out the calls were coming from inside the House, and the Senate. According to new reports, the then White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows, texted with 34 Republicans lawmakers in the days before January 6th, exchanging ideas and suggestions for how they could overturn the election and keep Trump in office. It’s like a gang of Batman’s dumbest enemies. One such lawmaker was the South Carolina Republican Ralph Norman, who texted Meadows three days before the attempted coup that ‘our LAST HOPE is invoking Marshall Law!!’ If Marshall Law doesn’t work, we’ll mobilize the TJ Maxxinistas! Thank God this coup wasn’t planned by people who could solve the Wordle.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The texts go a long way toward explaining why these low-lifes have been so quiet about all this. It wasn’t just Trump. He had dozens of enablers, and a lot of them are still in Congress. We had people who tried to overthrow the government in the government right now, and I continue to be blown away by how dumb they are. Even Scooby-Doo villains know not to write it down.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the only Trump being held in prison right now is Melania (This is like if O.J. had been turned in by his gloves)

October 2022

“The House January 6th committee’s 10th and potentially final public hearing was on Thursday, which felt a lot like Game of Thrones coming back but instead of dragons roasting people alive, Liz Cheney was doing it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“A lot of the evidence in these hearings came from Trump’s inner circle. This is like if O.J. had been turned in by his gloves.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Among the evidence presented on Thursday was video testimony from former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson. According to Hutchinson, Donald Trump was well aware that he lost the 2020 election, telling chief of staff Mark Meadows: ‘I don’t want people to know we lost, Mark, this is embarrassing.’ Is that more embarrassing than continuing to say you won an election two years after you lost that election? Man, did his parents do a number on him.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The committee also presented audio of Trump aides Steve Bannon and Roger Stone baldly stating plans to discredit the election before the results were known. After seeing all this evidence, it’s crazy that the only Trump being held in prison right now is Melania.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a movie that had way more nudity than they were expecting (Definition of Sin)

June 2022

“Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony, the former Trump White House aide’s statements on Tuesday were so powerful that Fox News hosts appeared speechless on air, specifically a long, awkward pause during a broadcast with Bret Baier, Sandra Smith and John Roberts. They couldn’t settle on a coherent narrative the way they usually do. They just cycled through a bunch of different lines, from screaming about media bias to claiming everyone knows Trump gets angry to dismissing Hutchinson as a low-level staffer who supposedly had ulterior motives. Oof. That’s like when you get in the car with your parents after they took you to a movie that had way more nudity than they were expecting.” —Seth Meyers

“I also like how they all act like the question was for the other person: ‘John, why don’t you go ahead?’ [imitating Fox News hosts] ‘I’m sorry, are you talking to me John or the cameraman John?’ ‘Sandra, do you want to take this one?’ ‘Oh, sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Why don’t you go ahead, Bret?’ ‘No, no, no, no, no, no. Ladies first.’” —Seth Meyers

“So on the one hand, as an unprecedented constitutional crisis was unfolding, there were people like Cassidy Hutchinson who were at least paying attention and asking questions. And then on the other hand, there were guys like Mark Meadows, who was just totally zonked and pretending nothing was happening. Dude was just scrolling on his phone, ignoring pleas for help like a lifeguard at a swimming pool who has one guess left in Wordle.”  —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

all I know is I’m not the one being stabbed, this sounds like a you problem (Calling people bootlickers since 1776)

June 2022

It has been the most shocking hearing yet from the January 6th committee, thanks to Cassidy Hutchinson, a former top aide to Donald Trump’s last White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows. According to Hutchinson, Meadows was aware of the rally’s intentions ahead of time, and told her ‘things might get real, real bad on January 6th.’ So, the president’s chief of staff knew there could be terrible consequences, and went ahead with it anyway?! This mob showed up to his rally ready for violence, but because of their weapons – guns, knives, spears tied to the top of flag poles, bear spray – they were being stopped at the magnetic security gates, thus lessening the size of Trump’s crowd. Hutchinson said she heard the ex-president shout, ‘I don’t care that they have weapons. They’re not here to hurt me, take the fucking [security gates] away. Let my people in. They can march to the Capitol from here.’ So he was cool with his mob being armed because he knew he wasn’t the one they wanted to attack. That’s like hearing, ‘Hello, 911, state your emergency … uh huh … well, all I know is I’m not the one being stabbed, this sounds like a you problem.’” —Stephen Colbert

“We’ve heard how the former president wanted to go with the marchers along to the Capitol for the attack – presumably to batter his way into the Senate chamber with a meatball sub, but Hutchinson told us today just how desperate he was to join his mob. Hutchinson told the committee that following the rally, Trump tried to grab the steering wheel from a Secret Service agent after he refused to drive him to the Capitol. That is insane, although it is going to make a great season premiere of Kleptocrats in Cars Seizing Power. Hutchinson also confirmed that Meadows sought a presidential pardon from Trump for his role in the riot. The president’s own chief of staff wanted a Get Out of Jail Free card. But he didn’t get it, so hopefully soon he will not pass Go, not collect $200, and go directly to jail.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s like if I find out my parents were doing this year’s Thanksgiving show with James Corden (Accomplices)

June 2022

The House select committee investigating the Capitol attack on 6 January 2021 resumed public hearings on Thursday afternoon, and Seth Meyers homed in on a particularly shocking section: evidence that Ginni Thomas, wife of the supreme court justice Clarence Thomas, frequently corresponded with John Eastman, the Trump lawyer who orchestrated a plan for Mike Pence to decertify the 2020 election. The spouse of a sitting supreme court justice was apparently in direct communication with a key figure in the planning of a coup. That seems like a pretty clear conflict of interest. It’s like if I find out my parents were doing this year’s Thanksgiving show with James Corden.” —Seth Meyers

The committee also presented evidence that Ginni Thomas was in consistent contact with the then White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows, about a bunch of truly insane election fraud theories. Her texts included one in which she claimed a group of co-conspirators, including the ‘Biden crime family, elected officials, social media censorship-mongers’ and others were being arrested and would soon be ‘living in barges off Gitmo [Guantánamo Bay] to face military tribunals for sedition’. Whoa! Those texts make Mike Lindell sound like a levelheaded businessman. I know those texts all sound insane to you. But it’s important to remember: they really are fucking insane.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Your boot tastes delicious today, Mr President (T-Mobile’s Unlimited Talk and Treason plan)

May 2022

“There were 2,319 text messages handed over to the January 6th committee by Donald Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows. That’s a lot of messages. Luckily Meadows has T-Mobile’s Unlimited Talk and Treason plan.” —Stephen Colbert

“The messages included an exchange between Meadows and Sean Hannity, in which Meadows encouraged the Fox News host to ‘stress every vote matters’. ‘Yes sir … on it,’ Hannity responded. That is a shocking level of toadyism, even for a guy who looks like a bullfrog. But he’s just living up to the Fox News slogan: ‘We report. You decide what we should say, and by the way, your boot tastes delicious today, Mr President.’” —Stephen Colbert

“On Friday, Hannity tried to claim he wasn’t caught – he meant to have no ethics. According to Hannity, ‘I don’t claim to be a journalist. I claim to be a talkshow host … I make no apologies, I give my opinions straightforward. We even do culture, we do sports, I’m like the whole newspaper.’ Yes, Sean Hannity is just like a newspaper – out of date, bad for the planet, only relevant to people over 70, and I’d love to see a puppy poop on him.” —Stephen Colbert

“There were also messages from former Trump energy secretary Rick Perry claiming to have non-existent evidence of voter fraud. Perry denied sending the texts, though they were signed ‘Rick Perry’ and included his phone number. Why are these guys so bad at committing crimes? It’s like if the Zodiac Killer released a note that said ‘This is the Zodiac speaking. To unearth my identity solve the enclosed cipher … and return to John Evans, 1414 Hawthorne Lane. Good luck!’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This proves definitively that Mark Meadows is a gossipy little b*tch (no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants)

April 2022

“There have been a trove of damning text messages handed over to the House January 6th committee by former Trump White House chief of staff Mark Meadows – more than 2,319 text messages with numerous Trump allies and GOP lawmakers. More than 2,000 text messages! This proves definitively that Mark Meadows is a gossipy little bitch.” —Samantha Bee

“Some of the most damning texts came on election day, like when Fox News host Sean Hannity promised Meadows he would push his listeners to get Trump elected. When Meadows pressed Hannity to ‘stress every vote matter’, the host replied: ‘Yes sir. On it.’ You know, it’s actually kind of nice to know that inside Sean Hannity’s soft, weak exterior rests an even softer, weaker man.” —Samantha Bee

“In the days after the election, Mark Meadows’ phone kept blowing up in a group text that included villains such as Ivanka Trump, Hope Hicks, Jared Kushner and Jason Miller. In other words, they were basically only missing Jafar and Ursula the Sea Witch.” —Samantha Bee

“Though messages show some Trump aides, including Kushner, sent evidence countering Trump’s baseless election fraud claims, the White House continued peddling the big lie. Despite mounting worries, a total lack of fraud evidence and a warning about potential violence on January 6th, Meadows and company went full speed ahead anyways. Of course, when it did turn violent, it wasn’t enough for true believers like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who texted Meadows days later to suggest they stop Biden from taking office by having Trump declare ‘Marshall Law’. And if you’re thinking, ‘that’s not how you spell martial law,’ you are very correct,” ‘Marshall’s Law’, as everyone knows, is that no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants.” —Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I got an idea: ballot box, trash can, American flag, poop emoji, pumpkin, crown, father (Chewbacca Bikini)

April 2022

“CNN got their hands on text messages between Don Jr. and Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, on Nov. 5, 2020. D.J.T.J. sent Meadows a number of ideas of how to ‘win’ the election they lost. He said, ‘We have multiple paths. We control them all.’ Junior would have texted his dad directly, but apparently Trump didn’t add him to the family plan.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Listen, if you’re gonna text your plans to overthrow an election, at least disguise it with emojis: ‘I got an idea: ballot box, trash can, American flag, poop emoji, pumpkin, crown, father.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Junior was so confident in the plan that he was concerned that not everyone was looped in, texting, ‘This is what we need to do. Please read it and please get it to everyone that needs to see it.’ Oh, I’m pretty sure the F.B.I. has seen it.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’ (to make the rest of them seem normal)

April 2022

“Marjorie Taylor Greene, remember, she is the one who endorsed fringe conspiracy theories and repeatedly indicated support for executing prominent Democratic politicians. Now she’s dialing 911 because she got made fun of. She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“And nobody does anything. I feel like maybe other Republicans like having her around to make the rest of them seem normal.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“There was a House vote to hold Trump aides Peter Navarro and Dan Scavino in criminal contempt of Congress. They join two other former Trump White House officials held in criminal contempt, Steve Bannon and former chief of staff Mark Meadows. (Bannon has been indicted and is awaiting trial.) At this point, it’s easier to list the Trump aides who aren’t in legal trouble. The vote was not without disruption; Representative Greene, AKA ‘the are you for fucking real housewife of DC’, heckled Congressman Jamie Raskin as he was speaking, like a drunk aunt at a comedy show who thinks everyone’s there to see her.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the fecal matter had truly hit the oscillator! (What’s an Alamo?)

January 2022

“It’s the first anniversary of the insurrection at the Capitol. It’s important to reflect on a day like this. There’s a reason Texas’ motto is not ‘What’s an Alamo?’” —Stephen Colbert

“President Biden’s address regarding the events of Jan. 6th, detailed the horrific actions of Trump supporters that day, including ‘literally defecating in the hallways.’ Defecating? That is a very delicate, presidential and high-minded way to describe MAGA maniacs smearing poop on the walls: [imitating Biden] ‘These ignoble miscreants absconded with Madam Speaker’s rostrum, set alight their cannabis cigarillos and besmirched these hallowed corridors with their human detritus! The fecal matter — the fecal matter had truly hit the oscillator!’” —Stephen Colbert

“Joe Biden also chastised Donald Trump for sitting idly by in a private White House dining room, ‘doing nothing for hours.’ Excuse me, sir. Since when is downing a KFC family bucket doing ‘nothing?’ He was working hard, and he had the chicken sweats to prove it.” —Stephen Colbert

“Now, there were some notable absences from the ceremonies today. During a moving moment of silence for the officers who lost their lives, there were only two Republicans on the House floor. The other Republican legislators chose to re-enact Jan. 6 by hiding in fear.” —Stephen Colbert

“But the former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows appeared on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show, and instead of discussing their now public pants-crapping, terrified text exchange from a year back, Meadows complained in advance about how the media would cover it. Meadows said, ‘You’re right to point out that tomorrow is going to be spent on January 6th.’ Keen analysis. Meadows went on to predict the next day would be spent on January 7th, the day after might focus on January 8th, and by the weekend, we could see numbers as high as 9 or 10.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Dick Clark’s Pearl Harbor’s Rockin’ Eve (he knew the next 48 hours were going to bring chaos)

January 2022

“According to The New York Times’s Maggie Haberman, the real, real reason that Trump cancelled his speech is that it was becoming clear he wasn’t likely to get the live TV coverage he was hoping for. Well, that makes sense. Upstaging solemn events rarely gets good ratings. That’s why they canceled ‘Dick Clark’s Pearl Harbor’s Rockin’ Eve.’” —Stephen Colbert

“In his statement regarding the cancellation, Trump referred to the insurrection as a ‘completely unarmed protest’ and said he was moving the event from Mar-a-Lago to Arizona on Jan. 15. I‘d like to point out that they were armed. And when did we start having to say ‘unarmed’ protests? Protests are unarmed by default. That’s like saying: ‘We had a lovely weekend. It was a totally bloodless cotillion.’” —Stephen Colbert

“It makes sense that he’s moving it from Mar-a-Lago to Arizona, considering their state motto: ‘Arizona: America’s backup Florida.’” —Stephen Colbert

“According to publicly released documents, on 21 December 2020, Sean Hannity texted the White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows: ‘I do NOT see January 6 happening the way he is being told.’ So Hannity clearly knew what was coming. I wouldn’t be surprised if the former president planned this coup with the knowledge of the entire Fox News lineup, including the commercials.” —Stephen Colbert

“Apparently, Hannity saw some downsides to destroying our system of representative government. Hannity sent a text on January 5th, in which he told Mark Meadows he was ‘very worried about the next 48 hours’. So he either had advance knowledge of the plot, or he had just eaten three Taco Bell Burrito Supremes. Either way, he knew the next 48 hours were going to bring chaos.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry 

 

Those toddlers are going to lose their teeth anyways (Steal Team Dicks)

December 2021

“Let’s examine the behavior of congressman Jim Jordan of Ohio, who the day before the insurrection texted Meadows with a plan to prevent the legitimate winner of the election, Joe Biden, from taking office. ‘On January 6, 2021, Vice-President Mike Pence, as president of the Senate, should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.’ Jordan has said he forwarded the message written by Joseph Schmitz, a former US defense department inspector general who outlined a ‘draft proposal’ to pressure Pence to refuse to certify the election results, and that Meadows knew the message was forwarded. Well, so what? That’s not a defense. That’s like saying, ‘I didn’t cook the meth, I just sold it at the Gymboree. Those toddlers are going to lose their teeth anyways.’” —Stephen Colbert

“There was a months-long campaign of subversion by half a dozen Republican lawmakers, including Jordan, Scott Perry, Paul Gosar, Louie Gohmert, Mo Brooks and Andy Biggs. The Steal Team Dicks fomented distrust over the election result and planned to derail the symbolic certification of the election before the insurrection thwarted the vote. So they were ready to reject the delegates, seize the ballots and overturn the election, but they were interrupted by the out-of-control mob their lies had created. It reminds me of the words of founding father Benjamin Frankenstein: ‘I’m hearing reports it was Antifa who destroyed the village!’” —Stephen Colbert

“China is building up influence in Africa through binding investments. In recent years, China has pumped money into the continent with large infrastructure projects funded by China’s Export Import bank. That’s right, baby, China has been making it rain in Africa. It’s the most money anyone has sent to Africa without being guilt-tripped by a celebrity singalong. The funding is presented as no strings attached, since China doesn’t care about your government, or human rights, or anything. They’re basically the cool mom of international finance. ‘Oh, you and your friends, you want to come party this weekend? Well, come to our basement with your child soldiers, we didn’t hear a thing!’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Do you mean like the way a serial killer tells the cops about his next move? (here’s an aggressive strategy)

December 2021

“Let’s take a deep dive into the evidence of GOP efforts to overturn the 2020 election, such as text messages from Republican lawmakers to former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows. Just after the election, one unnamed lawmaker suggested a plan to have swing states declare themselves for Donald Trump before the results were declared. ‘HERE’S and AGRESSIVE STRATEGY [sic],’ the lawmaker wrote. ‘Why can t [sic] the states of GA NC PENN and other R controlled state houses declare this is BS (where conflicts and election not called that night) and just send their own electors to vote and have it go to the SCOTUS.’ Anytime someone starts a text with the words ‘here’s an aggressive strategy’, don’t open the attachment. Also the random capitalization is a hint that whatever that person is telling you is going to be super insane.” —Seth Meyers

“Despite all of this incontrovertible evidence – the text messages, the secret memos, all the smoking guns we’ve found out about in the last year – propagandists in the GOP and on Fox News are still trying to rewrite history. Like Fox News contributor Lara Trump, who tried to argue on-air this week that the president warned Congress about the January 6th attack on the Capitol. ‘They all know that Donald Trump didn’t orchestrate this whole thing,” Lara Trump said. ‘He didn’t tell people to go to the Capitol and break in. He said, ‘Let’s peacefully and patriotically make our voices heard.’ But he tried to warn them.’ I’m sorry, what? Trump tried to warn people about the coup he fomented? Do you mean like the way a serial killer tells the cops about his next move?” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

nothing says ‘innocent’ like a second cellphone (And here's the twist...)

December 2021

“On Tuesday night, the House voted to hold Mark Meadows, who served as chief of staff to former President Donald J. Trump, in criminal contempt for refusing to cooperate with its investigation into the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol. Yes, hell yes! Criminal contempt — and the rest of us can just keep holding him in regular contempt.” —Stephen Colbert

“The consequences are severe. Meadows could be sentenced to a year in prison, or even worse, another month working for Trump.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Of course, Meadows needs a good lawyer, so the first thing he did was pull up Rudy Giuliani’s number and delete it.” —Jimmy Fallon

“These messages have the ring of unfiltered truth because they’re taken from Mark Meadows’ two personal phones — and nothing says ‘innocent’ like a second cellphone.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

Does anyone know where my Paw Patrol slippers are? (Helter sorry)

December 2021

“According to newly released records, Donald Trump Jr. texted then-White House chief of staff Mark Meadows during January’s Capitol attack, urging him to make President Trump condemn the violence. Then he texted again, saying, ‘Fine, I’ll tell him myself — just give me his number.’” —Seth Meyers

“Yeah, Trump ignored the advice of those closest to him and also Don Jr.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And then this text: He said, ‘Dad, you have to stop this right now.’ He wrote back, ‘Who is this?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“You cannot give Don that number. It’s too risky — he might give it to Eric.” —Stephen Colbert

“Don Jr. texted Meadows, asking him to do something. Meanwhile, Eric Trump texted, ‘Does anyone know where my Paw Patrol slippers are?’” —James Corden

“Now clearly, Don Jr.’s texts didn’t work, which honestly I’m kind of glad about because the only thing worse than an insurrection would have been to thank Don Jr. for stopping the insurrection.” —Trevor Noah

“Of course, Don Jr. has spent the last 11 months praising his father’s lack of action. And Eric — his son, Eric Trump, didn’t send any texts at all. He did not text Mark Meadows, because, well, in fairness he was stuck in a claw machine at a Dave & Buster’s in Silver Spring.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump Jr., texted Mark Meadows, ‘We need an Oval Office address, he has to lead now.’ OK, that reveals two things about Don Jr. One, he knew his dad was responsible and failing to lead, and two, he does not have his father’s cell phone number.” —Stephen Colbert

“These Fox News hosts pushed the big election lie for months leading up to January 6th. And then when their obedient viewers stormed the Capitol, they acted all surprised. It reminds me of Charles Manson’s statement after he was arrested: ‘They did what?! I was kidding. Helter sorry.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I don’t think we give the Fox News gang enough credit for their acting — it’s really good (company policy)

December 2021

“The records show that then-White House chief of staff Mark Meadows also received a text from Fox News host Brian Kilmeade that said, ‘Please get him on TV. He’s destroying everything we’ve accomplished.’ That is a shocking revelation — they had to beg Trump to go on TV?” —Seth Meyers

“And I love that they were so concerned that this could ruin Trump’s legacy: ‘If he gets somebody killed today, no one will remember that time he told everyone to drink bleach.” —Trevor Noah

“If one person at your network has no integrity, that’s a problem. If nobody has integrity, that’s a company policy.” —Trevor Noah

“If you’re looking for some silver lining here, I don’t think we give the Fox News gang enough credit for their acting — it’s really good.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

What you’re doing is crazy (Her side gig)

December 2021

“There have been revelations that Fox News commentators Brian Kilmeade, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham sent pleading texts to Mark Meadows on Jan. 6, asking President Donald J. Trump to speak out and stop the insurrection. Meadows, Trump’s last chief of staff, even got an Instagram post from Judge Jeanine’s box of wine.” —Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, it came out that Fox News hosts were begging for Trump to do something. And today Fox News hosts lit their tree on fire again just to change the subject.” —Jimmy Fallon

“So, the Jan. 6 attack scared Laura Ingraham — and keep in mind, her side gig is appearing in your bathroom mirror if you whisper ‘Medicare for all’ three times.” —Stephen Colbert

“Trump was like, ‘If I replied to every text that said 'What you’re doing is crazy,' I’d never get anything done.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

They weren’t just trying to overturn democracy, they were trying to bore it to death (There’s just the one slide)

December 2021

“The House committee investigating the Jan. 6th attack on the Capitol is looking into a 38-page PowerPoint document sent to President Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, that included plans to overturn the 2020 election. PowerPoint? They weren’t just trying to overturn democracy, they were trying to bore it to death.” —Stephen Colbert

“So what was in these slides of sedition? We’re not exactly sure yet, but there is one deck that’s been circulating, that may be the deck in question, and one of the slides on that was a list of recommendations, including a plan to ‘declare a national security emergency.’ I’m sure exactly how you do that. I assume by breaking into every broadcast using the emergency [expletive] system.” —Stephen Colbert

“They were also planning to declare electronic voting in all states invalid. Instead, they wanted to rely on ‘legal and genuine paper ballot counts.’ OK, so if you can’t trust computers, how are you giving your presentation, via PowerPoint pigeon? They’re staging a coup-coup!” —Stephen Colbert

“Even the Mafia knows to use code words. If the Mafia ever made a PowerPoint presentation, it would say something vague like, ‘Plan for the guys at the place to do the thing.’ ‘OK, boss, what’s the next slide?’ ‘There’s no more slides. There’s just the one slide.’” —Seth Meyers

“They did everything they could, left no stone unturned, looked for every crack and crevice in our democracy they could possibly find to prevent the transition of power. Trump tried so many different avenues. He was like the guy in the grocery store during Christmas rush who keeps switching checkout aisles.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I wonder whose tiny hand they all shook at that party? (They should be in straight jackets)

December 2021

“In his new book, Mark Meadows, former President Donald Trump’s chief of staff, wrote that Trump tested positive for the coronavirus before his first debate with Joe Biden in 2020. Sadly, testing positive for Covid was the only positive thing he did in four years as president.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“And if you do the math on the Covid, it means Trump had it at that little soiree he threw for Judge Amy Coney Barrett, after which at least eight people who were there tested positive. I wonder who they got it from? I wonder whose tiny hand they all shook at that party?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I’m not saying that Trump was trying to assassinate Joe Biden, but he definitely wasn’t going out of his way to avoid it.” —Trevor Noah

“That explains why Trump originally wanted to end the Biden debate with a long, drawn-out kiss.” —James Corden

“Trump participated in the debate despite testing positive. Or, as Fox News is spinning it, ‘President Trump battled on heroically, and graciously shared his exclusive strain of Covid with a stage full of ungrateful libs.’” —James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”