“There were 2,319 text messages handed over to the January 6th committee by Donald Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows. That’s a lot of messages. Luckily Meadows has T-Mobile’s Unlimited Talk and Treason plan.” —Stephen Colbert
“The messages included an exchange between Meadows and Sean Hannity, in which Meadows encouraged the Fox News host to ‘stress every vote matters’. ‘Yes sir … on it,’ Hannity responded. That is a shocking level of toadyism, even for a guy who looks like a bullfrog. But he’s just living up to the Fox News slogan: ‘We report. You decide what we should say, and by the way, your boot tastes delicious today, Mr President.’” —Stephen Colbert
“On Friday, Hannity tried to claim he wasn’t caught – he meant to have no ethics. According to Hannity, ‘I don’t claim to be a journalist. I claim to be a talkshow host … I make no apologies, I give my opinions straightforward. We even do culture, we do sports, I’m like the whole newspaper.’ Yes, Sean Hannity is just like a newspaper – out of date, bad for the planet, only relevant to people over 70, and I’d love to see a puppy poop on him.” —Stephen Colbert
“There were also messages from former Trump energy secretary Rick Perry claiming to have non-existent evidence of voter fraud. Perry denied sending the texts, though they were signed ‘Rick Perry’ and included his phone number. Why are these guys so bad at committing crimes? It’s like if the Zodiac Killer released a note that said ‘This is the Zodiac speaking. To unearth my identity solve the enclosed cipher … and return to John Evans, 1414 Hawthorne Lane. Good luck!’” —Stephen Colbert
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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