Don’t Stop Believing (the divine right of kings)

I read that you can now buy a new, wine-flavored jelly. Which is a great idea until your kid’s teacher calls and says, “I dunno what happened to Billy. He ate a PB&J and keeps singing ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’” –Jimmy Fallon

"Former President George W. Bush just signed a $7 million book deal, though, reportedly, he thought it was to read one." --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there’s probably a lot you’d want to forget (save it for my inauguration)

At a Donald Trump rally the other night, a supporter shouted out the Nazi salute "Sieg Heil!" Trump immediately responded, "There is no place for that here — save it for my inauguration." –Conan O’Brien

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

According to a new study that just came out, older men who frequently use a sauna are less likely to develop dementia. Which is too bad, because if you’re spending that much time looking at old naked guys, there’s probably a lot you’d want to forget. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world (the pilates studio where Hitler was born)

Authorities in North Carolina were recently on high alert after being told of a suspicious package that had been mailed to an office building. But after evacuating the whole building, police realized that the package was just an audio cassette by the band Journey. I’m sorry, it’s 2018. I do think a Journey cassette is pretty suspicious. Police haven’t confirmed who sent the package, but they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world. --James Corden

The Austrian government said they won’t leave the lot vacant, which means “the house where Hitler was born” might soon be “the pilates studio where Hitler was born.” –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Loving, Touching, Squeezing (boomzy-woomzy)

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

"It's now been reported that Britain did pass information on to U.S. authorities about the attempted underwear bomber, but the U.S. disregarded it. In part, that's because the British intelligence referred to him as 'a bloke with boomzy-woomzy in his knickers.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world (Just kidding)

Authorities in North Carolina were recently on high alert after being told of a suspicious package that had been mailed to an office building. But after evacuating the whole building, police realized that the package was just an audio cassette by the band Journey. I’m sorry, it’s 2018. I do think a Journey cassette is pretty suspicious. Police haven’t confirmed who sent the package, but they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world. --James Corden

Now if you are sad the World Series is over, remember that there are 162 games in a baseball season, so I can only assume baseball starts again on Monday? –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently, the dog was hit by a midnight train goin’ anywhere (two exciting minutes)

A member of the band Journey said “Don’t Stop Believing” was inspired by the time he borrowed money from his dad to pay his dog’s vet bill. Apparently, the dog was hit by a midnight train goin’ anywhere.  --Jimmy Fallon

And get this -- I heard NBC is going to have four hours of coverage before the Kentucky Derby race. Yeah, four hours leading up to two exciting minutes, or, as that's also known, prom. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

US just finished dead last among 46 countries in media trust (choosing to just stay in the womb and chill)

Health officials say there’s a new trend of women using marijuana during their pregnancy. This has given rise to another new trend — babies choosing to just stay in the womb and chill. –Conan O’Brien

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The police are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world (This sounds like a guy who forgot it was their anniversary)

Authorities in North Carolina were recently on high alert after being told of a suspicious package that had been mailed to an office building. But after evacuating the whole building, police realized that the package was just an audio cassette by the band Journey. I’m sorry, it’s 2018. I do think a Journey cassette is pretty suspicious. Police haven’t confirmed who sent the package, but they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world. --James Corden

John McCain called Donald Trump out for being a pampered rich boy but the good news is it looks like Trump will get out of the military again after suffering from McCain’s sick burn. Trump got out of going to Vietnam five times, and now he’s the president of the United States. So including the World Series, 2017 has been a great year for dodgers. –James Corden

But the truth is that sometimes we find love and we make that person our girlfriend or our wife — or as Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega did, you could make that person your running mate. Daniel Ortega, the incumbent running for president in Nicaragua, just made his wife his vice presidential running mate. This sounds like a guy who forgot it was their anniversary. Really have to scramble for a gift. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I feel much the same whenever I see George W. Bush (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)

A senator made history this week by breastfeeding in the Senate Chamber. The bad news is, it was Mitch McConnell. –Conan O’Brien

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

Yesterday, Kim Jong Un hurled a series of insults at Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. In a related story, Fox News has finally found its replacement for Bill O’Reilly. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Even Kanye was like, “You should probably stop talking.” (Apparently, the dog was hit by a midnight train goin’ anywhere)

Last night, Rudy Giuliani went on Fox News and revealed that Donald Trump knew about and paid for Stormy Daniels’ hush money. Even Kanye was like, “You should probably stop talking.”  --Jimmy Fallon

A member of the band Journey said “Don’t Stop Believing” was inspired by the time he borrowed money from his dad to pay his dog’s vet bill. Apparently, the dog was hit by a midnight train goin’ anywhere.  --Jimmy Fallon

I saw that former presidents George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush announced that they will not endorse anyone in the 2016 presidential race. Even crazier, they said that before Jeb dropped out. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Western media is mercilessly using it against its own people (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)

"In a speech, Russian president Vladimir Putin slammed the U.S. for being 'genderless and infertile.' My question is: How did Vladimir Putin get his hands on my Match.com profile?"  –Conan O'Brien

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order. –Conan O’Brien

Today, Queen Elizabeth stepped down as the patron of children’s charities. The queen said, “I just realized I really hate kids.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Sometimes, I forget that I am driving a car....???? (Don’t Stop Believing)

Donald Trump’s campaign has raised about $100,000 in donations during the second quarter. Which raises an important question: Who is giving Donald Trump money? That’s like giving your money to a pile of money.—Jimmy Fallon

I read that you can now buy a new, wine-flavored jelly. Which is a great idea until your kid’s teacher calls and says, “I dunno what happened to Billy. He ate a PB&J and keeps singing ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’” –Jimmy Fallon

"Two Delta planes collided on the runway in Boston. The passengers are all OK, except for Delta’s $50 collision fee. The air traffic controllers were just glad they weren’t awake to see the collision." –Jimmy Fallon

"Thank you, Arnold Schwarzenegger for starring in an upcoming western 'The Last Stand.' It’ll probably be good for you to shoot some blanks for a while." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story, Fox News has finally found its replacement for Bill O’Reilly (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)

Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin said he had nothing to do with the firing of FBI Director James Comey. Putin said, “How could I? He’s still alive, isn’t he?” –Conan O’Brien

Today, President Trump promised to bring back “the spirit and prestige of the FBI.” Trump said, “When I’m arrested, I want to be arrested by the very best.” –Conan O’Brien

Yesterday, Kim Jong Un hurled a series of insults at Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. In a related story, Fox News has finally found its replacement for Bill O’Reilly. –Conan O’Brien

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In terms of number of sexual partners, those two are known as "the spectrum" (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)

At last week’s Republican debate, Ted Cruz accused Donald Trump of having "New York values." Trump said that’s ridiculous, then, overcharged Cruz for a bagel. –Conan O’Brien

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

Today, Leonardo DiCaprio met with Pope Francis. In terms of number of sexual partners, those two are known as "the spectrum." –Conan O’Brien

Today, in his last full day in office, President Obama commuted the sentences of 330 prisoners. After hearing this, Melania Trump said, “I hope I’m one of them.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He is the most prominent Republican (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)

"A new survey finds that although his approval ratings are low, President Obama is still ahead of the most prominent Republicans. Have you seen his tax plan? He is the most prominent Republican." –Jay Leno

"The House has voted to repeal the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. Nancy Pelosi said, 'Now's the time to act,' meaning before Democrats lose their majority in a couple of weeks. Which raises the question: Why didn't they act the last four years when they had the majority?" –Jay Leno

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

a small town girl living in a lonely world (one part paxil, two parts badonkadonk)

Authorities in North Carolina were recently on high alert after being told of a suspicious package that had been mailed to an office building. But after evacuating the whole building, police realized that the package was just an audio cassette by the band journey. I’m sorry, it’s 2018. I do think a Journey cassette is pretty suspicious. Police haven’t confirmed who sent the package, but they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world. --James Corden

Let's save it for Tuesday. I mean everybody, everybody has to vote. So all you stoners out there start looking for your keys now. --Bill Maher

But there is a good omen. I think there's a good omen. Yesterday the Republicans lost Kayne. He must be back on his meds, he said he tweeted out I now realize I've been used to spread a message that I don't in. And Kim told him he doesn't have to sleep on the couch anymore. I think this is our formula for deprogramming Republicans: one part paxil, two parts badonkadonk. --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He said he first got into Beyoncé’s music when Hillary Clinton smashed his car windshield with a baseball bat (Don’t Stop Believing)

I saw that when John Kelly became Trump’s chief of staff, the Secret Service director emailed him, saying, “Congratulations, I think.” Which is the same thing everyone said to Melania at her bridal shower.  --Jimmy Fallon

This week, former FBI Director James Comey said that he’s actually a big fan of Beyoncé. He said he first got into Beyoncé’s music when Hillary Clinton smashed his car windshield with a baseball bat.  --Jimmy Fallon

A member of the band Journey said “Don’t Stop Believing” was inspired by the time he borrowed money from his dad to pay his dog’s vet bill. Apparently, the dog was hit by a midnight train goin’ anywhere.  --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He ate a PB&J and keeps singing ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’ (That's Melissa McCarthy...)

I read that you can now buy a new, wine-flavored jelly. Which is a great idea until your kid’s teacher calls and says, “I dunno what happened to Billy. He ate a PB&J and keeps singing ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’” –Jimmy Fallon

Today is National Cousins Day. And if you’re from West Virginia, happy anniversary! –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable. (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)

"The Golden Globes will have an unusual category this year: 'Outstanding Performance by an Animal Killed by Sarah Palin.'" –David Letterman



"Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.'" –Craig Ferguson 

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien 

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html