they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world (the pilates studio where Hitler was born)

Authorities in North Carolina were recently on high alert after being told of a suspicious package that had been mailed to an office building. But after evacuating the whole building, police realized that the package was just an audio cassette by the band Journey. I’m sorry, it’s 2018. I do think a Journey cassette is pretty suspicious. Police haven’t confirmed who sent the package, but they are on the lookout for a small town girl living in a lonely world. --James Corden

The Austrian government said they won’t leave the lot vacant, which means “the house where Hitler was born” might soon be “the pilates studio where Hitler was born.” –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Usually to produce a blast of that magnitude (solidarity is a verb)

A massive blast at a Chevron refinery in California produced enormous flames visible for miles. Usually to produce a blast of that magnitude, you'd have to pull Jerry Nadler’s finger. — Greg Gutfeld 

On October 5th, 1,200 people will run the International Taco Bell Ultra Marathon, where competitors stop and eat at nine Taco Bells. Nice. Or you could just stay home and s*** in your pants on a treadmill. — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Contentious is his ONLY note! He's a human air horn (I'm sorry, Helsinki)

It is the first full day of Donald Trump's trip to Europe. He's in Brussels for the NATO summit and then it’s on to England, and then he's going straight to hell — I'm sorry, Helsinki — to meet with Vladimir Putin. --Stephen Colbert

As The New York Times put it, “Mr. Trump kicked off his meetings on a contentious note.” Contentious is his ONLY note! He's a human air horn.  --Stephen Colbert

Trump claims Germany is controlled by Russia because 35 percent of their natural gas comes from Russia. It's true, we're all controlled by the people who give us our gas, which is why I'm forever beholden to the Chevron on Route 3. When they invaded the Pizza Hut next door, I said nothing. What could I do?  --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”