they swooped down and gave him a nuclear wedgie (Whose fears are unfounded?)

"The big news today! American forces have killed Pavarrati. They finally got him. He was face down in a bowl of fettucini alfredo. Actually, they killed that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the man who ran the al Qaeda in Iraq. In lieu of flowers, the Zarqawi family's asking that you send deodorant. The Air Force dropped two 500 pound bombs on him and just to be sure, they swooped down and gave him a nuclear wedgie." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Anybody go to the Madonna show here in L.A. last night? It was the opening of her 'Confessions' world tour. During the concert, she condemned President Bush, she pretended to be nailed to a cross, she spoke out about third world poverty, she dry humped a bunch of guys in leather pants. Doesn't matter how old she is, she never tones it down. I tell you what, it takes a lot of courage to go after President Bush in front of an audience almost made entirely of gay Hollywood men." --Jimmy Kimmel

It is first lady Melania Trump’s birthday today. The president celebrated this morning with a bonkers 30-minute-long phone call to "Fox & Friends," at the start of which they asked, what'd you get Melania for her birthday? He said he's too busy to buy her a present — keeping in mind he said this during a 30-minute-long rambling call to “Fox & Friends.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Hard Rock Café of catastrophic policy decisions (Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your an*s)

 

"It's basically the Hard Rock Café of catastrophic policy decisions." –Jon Stewart on the Bush Presidential Library

"I guess that's better than its original title, Disasterpiece Theater." –Jon Stewart on the "Decision Points Theater" exhibit at the Bush Presidential Library

 

"The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court's five conservatives. You know -- the 'defending personal liberty' guys. Which is weird because I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I'm willing to bet Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your anus." –Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This proves definitively that Mark Meadows is a gossipy little b*tch (no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants)

April 2022

“There have been a trove of damning text messages handed over to the House January 6th committee by former Trump White House chief of staff Mark Meadows – more than 2,319 text messages with numerous Trump allies and GOP lawmakers. More than 2,000 text messages! This proves definitively that Mark Meadows is a gossipy little bitch.” —Samantha Bee

“Some of the most damning texts came on election day, like when Fox News host Sean Hannity promised Meadows he would push his listeners to get Trump elected. When Meadows pressed Hannity to ‘stress every vote matter’, the host replied: ‘Yes sir. On it.’ You know, it’s actually kind of nice to know that inside Sean Hannity’s soft, weak exterior rests an even softer, weaker man.” —Samantha Bee

“In the days after the election, Mark Meadows’ phone kept blowing up in a group text that included villains such as Ivanka Trump, Hope Hicks, Jared Kushner and Jason Miller. In other words, they were basically only missing Jafar and Ursula the Sea Witch.” —Samantha Bee

“Though messages show some Trump aides, including Kushner, sent evidence countering Trump’s baseless election fraud claims, the White House continued peddling the big lie. Despite mounting worries, a total lack of fraud evidence and a warning about potential violence on January 6th, Meadows and company went full speed ahead anyways. Of course, when it did turn violent, it wasn’t enough for true believers like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who texted Meadows days later to suggest they stop Biden from taking office by having Trump declare ‘Marshall Law’. And if you’re thinking, ‘that’s not how you spell martial law,’ you are very correct,” ‘Marshall’s Law’, as everyone knows, is that no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants.” —Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And you know what they say if you get hit with an avocado: You’re toast. (He lost a pig? When did that happen?)

April 2022

“There is a bizarre court transcript from a New York civil suit against Donald Trump for inciting violence against protesters outside Trump Tower in 2015. OK, first of all, it’s crazy that there are so many Trump scandals that he’s literally getting dragged into court for something we didn’t know was a thing. Nobody knew about this! I didn’t. Trump lawsuits are like Nicolas Cage movies – there’s a bunch where you’re like, ‘He lost a pig? When did that happen?’” —Trevor Noah

“In newly released excerpts from a deposition taken last year, former President Trump said that he was worried that protesters might throw fruits and vegetables at him. This is just more proof that Trump only thinks in cartoons.” —Seth Meyers

“It’s like the homeland security threat level: red’s tomato, yellow’s for banana, and green is for avocado. And you know what they say if you get hit with an avocado: You’re toast.” —Seth Meyers

“I will say this — he’s not wrong about being hit with a pineapple being dangerous, you know? I mean that’s got spikes built in. And the banana, too. It might not seem dangerous, but remember, someone throws a banana, it comes right back at them.” —Trevor Noah

“You know what I think is the worst fruit to get hit with? A honeydew. Yeah, no, not because it’s hard; just because you can get some of it in your mouth, and that [expletive] is disgusting. I hope it hits me in the head and kills me so I don’t have to taste it.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: MSNBC Host Unwittingly Reveals Truth About Twitter Censorship

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

NUGGETS at GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS | Game 5 | April 27, 2022

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

#1 SUNS at #8 PELICANS | Game 6 | April 28, 2022

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”