And you know what they say if you get hit with an avocado: You’re toast. (He lost a pig? When did that happen?)

April 2022

“There is a bizarre court transcript from a New York civil suit against Donald Trump for inciting violence against protesters outside Trump Tower in 2015. OK, first of all, it’s crazy that there are so many Trump scandals that he’s literally getting dragged into court for something we didn’t know was a thing. Nobody knew about this! I didn’t. Trump lawsuits are like Nicolas Cage movies – there’s a bunch where you’re like, ‘He lost a pig? When did that happen?’” —Trevor Noah

“In newly released excerpts from a deposition taken last year, former President Trump said that he was worried that protesters might throw fruits and vegetables at him. This is just more proof that Trump only thinks in cartoons.” —Seth Meyers

“It’s like the homeland security threat level: red’s tomato, yellow’s for banana, and green is for avocado. And you know what they say if you get hit with an avocado: You’re toast.” —Seth Meyers

“I will say this — he’s not wrong about being hit with a pineapple being dangerous, you know? I mean that’s got spikes built in. And the banana, too. It might not seem dangerous, but remember, someone throws a banana, it comes right back at them.” —Trevor Noah

“You know what I think is the worst fruit to get hit with? A honeydew. Yeah, no, not because it’s hard; just because you can get some of it in your mouth, and that [expletive] is disgusting. I hope it hits me in the head and kills me so I don’t have to taste it.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”