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Wednesday, March 2, 2016

But so far, they've only had 1 billion applicants



A new report has found that super PACs supporting Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz have spent over $7 million on ads trying to bring down Donald Trump, when they could have just spent $500 on a wind machine. –Seth Meyers
A Catholic priest in Ireland has resigned after a video surfaced of him snorting cocaine in a room decorated with Nazi memorabilia. He was also the first priest to ever tell someone at confession, "Ah, I think I got you beat." –Seth Meyers
NASA is currently recruiting people for their rest studies program in which participants will be paid $18,000 to spend 70 days in bed and smoke different types of marijuana. But so far, they've only had 1 billion applicants. –Seth Meyers


Jeb is at home ironing and re-ironing his Tommy Bahama shirts



There was voting today in 13 states with hundreds of delegates at stake. Jeb Bush spent his Super Tuesday at home ironing and re-ironing his Tommy Bahama shirts. –Jimmy Kimmel
Donald Trump has been defending himself after failing to immediately condemn an endorsement from former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke. Trump blamed his hesitation on a bad earpiece. Or maybe he said hairpiece. –Jimmy Kimmel
Donald Trump said in a new interview that there's nobody that's done so much for equality as he has. Well, he does appear to be doing everything in his power to make sure America has its first female president. –Seth Meyers


just ask any of Trump's three wives



At a rally in Georgia yesterday, Trump was endorsed by the CEO of NASCAR and several prominent NASCAR drivers. With the NASCAR endorsement, Donald Trump has locked up the coveted "guy you wish your sister would break up with" vote. –James Corden
This Super Tuesday could be the day that Trump running for president becomes officially not funny anymore. –James Corden
The CEO of NASCAR, Brian France, spoke, saying that "Trump is a family man." And it's true, just ask any of Trump's three wives. –James Corden


Osama bin Laden’s will




Osama bin Laden’s will has come out, and in the will he says he wanted most of his $29 million fortune to be used "on jihad." And $5 million goes to his Siamese cat, Mr. Peepers. –Conan O’Brien
Analysts say Hillary Clinton's plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as "dangerous and bigoted." She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately. –Conan O’Brien


OK, we don't know why you're famous



Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas spoke during oral arguments yesterday for the first time in over 10 years. I guess his exact words were, “Damn, that was some good weed.” –Jimmy Fallon
Kim Kardashian spoke out about Kanye West's Twitter rants and said she wants everyone to be as honest as Kanye. Then people were like, “OK, we don't know why you're famous.” –Jimmy Fallon
Lawmakers in New Hampshire are now backing a bill that would make it illegal for women to expose their breasts in public because they say it could hurt tourism. Then New Orleans said, “You sure about that?” –Jimmy Fallon


Thanks a lot, DAD. This is just like Little League!



Former President George H.W. Bush and his wife Barbara were in attendance for the debate. Or as Jeb put it, “The first debate I'm NOT in is the one you show up to?? Thanks a lot, DAD. This is just like Little League!" –Jimmy Fallon 
A company in Boston built a 5 foot 9 robot that can open doors, and can actually get back up if it's punched. They didn't MEAN to test whether it can get up after being punched, but well, it's Boston. –Jimmy Fallon
Super Tuesday could be do or die for a lot of candidates, including Ted Cruz, who could be knocked out of the race depending on how things went tonight. Cruz said that dropping out would allow him to spend more time with his family, then his family said, “We gotta get this guy some votes!” –Jimmy Fallon



Collected Poems (1985-2015) volume 1




Proceeds being raised for veterans causes including 
the Paralyzed Veterans of America.

Some reviews of my work:

His poetry will go on being read and studied for years to come. From his pillowcases with magical powers, the consequences of a man coming home five minutes too late, or a Marine platoon in Vietnam making a left turn instead of turning right. The poems build upon one another with lines of creation, then of destruction. Then start all over again with the next poem and the next line. It will wear you down. An overwhelming presence here. And while you are reading, starvation seems inevitable. Survival unsure.
An emotional rollercoaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
Kristina Betts, Lapel Review

It made me blow the dust off my copy of Orwell’s 1984. An amazing compilation.
Susan Hampton, Edgewood Journal

I fully agree with Bukowski Lover's concise review. John Hulse does, indeed evoke the wordplay of the Late CB, but he brings an honesty and openness way to beautiful and fragile, so that you'll weep every time that pure sweetness meets the mean streets of this Reality we all share. He'll make you yearn for its Deliverance, and then, suddenly, you'll know what you must do to save it. ... and you're not alone... even if you feel like it. Hulse evokes here a sort of Matthew 5: 1-12 Beatitudes for our times, through deep-diving, immersive views into the world of Empathy and Mercy, and Compassion that are spell-binding in their simplicity.

This book should be included in the "Welcome to Humanity" Packets for all newcomers. John Hulse is a true Master of the Word, and most tender of Champions for the Human Condition.

Mr. Hulse displays a mastery of the foibles of humanity—specifically men. He’s got a sharp wit, a fresh an interesting take on relationships, and isn’t afraid to push the envelope with his content. His bio discusses his world travels and myriad life experiences, and this reader can’t help but notice how his past very obviously affects his work. It appears to be an organic evolution, because growth in technique, word selection, and image creation is evident throughout. A thoroughly entertaining jaunt through the mind of a man who is without doubt as interesting as his work.

Whenever I’ve had the opportunity to read Mr. Hulse’s work, I am always struck by the mix of brutal honesty and humorous social commentary. He hasn’t failed to impress with this latest release. His jabs at the evil of corporate America, his insights into the dichotomous nature of public America, and his humble and hilarious comments on his personal life never disappoint. His raison d’être is poetry, and this dedication is obvious. With the loss of so many great poets in the last 10 or 15 years, I am glad another voice is there to contribute to the art.