The pardon is for the guy who wrote Rocky V (one of capitalisms biggest PR scams)

President Trump tweeted that he may pardon someone because Sylvester Stallone asked him to. The pardon is for the guy who wrote "Rocky V." --Conan O’Brien

"Marco Rubio announced he's running for president. Fun fact: Marco Rubio's wife is a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader. In other words, she knows how to generate fake enthusiasm for someone who's not going to win." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hitler accidentally added her to a group chat (Eat out of this trough, you pig!)

Betty Webb, one of the last surviving World War II codebreakers, has died at the age of 101. Webb first deciphered Nazi communications after Hitler accidentally added her to a group chat. —Colin Jost

Subway has partnered with Doritos to offer new Footlong Nachos. But I don't love the slogan — "Eat out of this trough, you pig!” —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He is a good citizen driven to despair (the donate to charity slice)

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same. —Mitch Hedberg

I had a neighbor and whenever he would knock on my wall, I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry because I like loud music. So when he knocked on the wall I'd mess with his head. I'd say, ‘go around I cannot open the wall. I don't know if you have a doorknob on the other side but over here there’s nothing.’ —Mitch Hedberg

I went to a pizzeria. I ordered a slice of pizza, the dude gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, this dude gave me the donate to charity slice. —Mitch Hedberg

I can only wear V-necks because my neck is very fragile. I cannot wear a regular neck shirt, it hurts. And I especially hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all damn day. If you wear a turtleneck and a backpack it’s like a weak midget trying to bring you down. —Mitch Hedberg

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”