They really started to get worried when he didn't show up at the Clooney wedding (apple boarding)

"New York City is overrun with rats. We have so many rats that today Mayor Bill de Blasio was on live television asking every citizen here to make sure to have your rat neutered." –David Letterman

"Nobody had seen North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un for a week, then a month, and now six weeks have gone by and nobody's seen him. They really started to get worried when he didn't show up at the Clooney wedding." – David Letterman

"Do people still bob for apples? Anybody bob for apples for God's sakes? Bobbing for apples or as Dick Cheney calls it, apple boarding." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NASA admitted they sort of forgot he was up there (Which is also the advice Chris Christie gets from his doctor)

Astronaut Jeffrey Williams just set the U.S. record for most days in space, reaching the milestone of 521 days. It's less of an accomplishment after NASA admitted they sort of forgot he was up there. –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan had a campaign event at an apple orchard. There was one awkward moment when they told the granny smiths they were considering cutting their Medicare." –Jimmy Fallon

One of the candidates at the early GOP debate, George Pataki, said his routine before every debate is to drink a diet lemon Snapple iced tea and pray. Which is also the advice Chris Christie gets from his doctor. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Make of that what you will (change one letter and it’s the story of my life)

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it’s the story of my life. –Dorothy Parker

They say sex is as good as a five-mile run. I don’t think I move five miles making love, but we’ve got three bedrooms. Make of that what you will. –Michael Palin, Monty Python

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. –Henry Miller, Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Beach, 1957

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

who eats an apple at the airport when there's a Cinnabon right there? (It's right there!)

A Colorado woman was given an apple on her flight home from Paris, she put it in her bag as a snack for later and forgot about it, and now she's facing a $500 fine for not declaring it at customs. I'd be suspicious of this woman, too. I mean, who eats an apple at the airport when there's a Cinnabon right there? It's right there! --James Corden

One single apple ended up costing her $500. That's ridiculous. If she wanted to pay $500 for an apple, she could've just shopped at Whole Foods. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the apple doesn't fall far from the guy who stole a bunch of apples (NRA bellhops)

When reporters asked whether it was true that he called Trump a moron, Tillerson said quietly, "I'm not going to deal with petty stuff like that." Which means he definitely called Trump a moron. That is basically an admission of guilt in any situation. –James Corden

An article published today revealed that Ivanka and Donald Trump Jr. were nearly indicted for fraud back in 2012 for misleading investors. You know what they say — the apple doesn't fall far from the guy who stole a bunch of apples. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans