You don’t have to tell her 16 times (half Jason and half lemonade)

On Super Tuesday President Biden lost the Democratic caucuses in American Samoa to Jason Palmer, ‘a previously’ little-known long-shot challenger, according to Axios. Yes previously little known, also currently little known. I myself just recently learned that a Jason Palmer is half Jason and half lemonade. —Stephen Colbert

“Presidential candidate Nikki Haley announced today that she is ending her campaign for the Republican nomination. Well, she’s a reasonable person. You don’t have to tell her 16 times.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

States are too busy deciding that life begins in the freezer section! (he can’t even say the word Russia without climaxing)

The Supreme Court ruled unanimously to keep Donald Trump on all state ballots. The justices said that since different states have different standards for insurrection, conflicting state outcomes would lead to chaos. Yes, you can’t just let states decide who goes on the ballots? States are too busy deciding that life begins in the freezer section! —Stephen Colbert

There have been some weird campaign appearances by Trump in which he appeared to speak gibberish. Apparently, he can’t even say the word Russia without climaxing. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Today it just said, 'Eat me.' (sick time)

"An unnamed American entity is going to take over. The rumor is that it's Halliburton. Talk about arrogant. You know that sign Bush stands in front of all the time with the writing on it? Today it just said, 'Eat me.'" --Bill Maher

"Those two guys were up before the congressional Committee this week, which issued the report on Katrina, which lambasted the White House for wasting billions of dollars that was stolen, lost, we don't know where it is. Bush said history will call that a small price to pay if we wind up bringing democracy to Louisiana and it spreads to Mississippi and Florida." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is what solidarity looks like (Look it up yourself, [bleep])

Today for International Women’s Day, women across the country protested by refusing to work. That’s a true story. That’s what happened today. In fact, earlier today Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me. –Conan O’Brien

ABC announced that "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" will now feature a more diverse cast. They’re going to add a contestant who has read a book. –Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, Joe Biden won three states he didn’t even visit. That’s true, yeah. That explains Biden’s new campaign slogan: ‘Vote for me or I’ll come talk to you.’” — Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Grandma got run over by... (Chumbawamba)

December 2022

“Here are some Christmas cards I have received. For instance, look at this. This is a card from Yankees superstar Aaron Judge. On the front, it says… ‘There’s no place like home for the holidays…’ Open it up, and it says… ‘Especially when staying home equals $360 Millies.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Here's a nice card I got from Elon Musk. It says… ‘Grandma got run over by a…’ Open it up, and it says… ‘Self-driving Tesla.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Here's a card from Herschel Walker. It says… ‘Merry Christmas! And to my Jewish friends, Happy…’ Open it up, and it says… ‘Chumbawamba.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”