“In other bungling response news, Trump falsely asserted enough tests for all Americans would be available ASAP (they’re not) and that those tests were as ‘perfect’ as his call with the Ukrainian president, Volodomyr Zelensky, that fueled his impeachment. You’re comparing the test for a global pandemic to the thing that got you impeached? That’s not a good comparison. That’s like borrowing your friend’s Kia and saying: ‘This reminds me a lot of my last car, the one I totaled after driving it straight into a Wendy’s.’” —Seth Meyers
“Also today, it was announced that, due to coronavirus, the music festival Coachella has now been postponed until October. In fact, headliner Rage Against the Machine has already changed their name to Rage to Get the Vaccine. And that’s not the only musical act that plans to be in Coachella in October. You can also count on Miley Virus, Justin Fever, the Flu Fighters, Pandemic! at the Disco — we got like a hundred of these. The only band yet to confirm is The Cure.” — James Corden
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
