Well, the first one not elected to the United States Senate, of course (Well, finally a reason to live in New Jersey)

"The Shady Lady brothel in Nevada has a 25-year-old man named Marcus, and he's become the first legal male prostitute in American history. Well, the first one not elected to the United States Senate, of course." –Jay Leno

"Oh, and New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine has signed legislation making marijuana legal, huh? Well, finally a reason to live in New Jersey." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unfortunately, everyone in New York has learned to sleep through it (play dates)

A new alarm-clock app has launched that wakes users up with unconventional sounds like shattering glass, gunshots, and women screaming. Unfortunately, everyone in New York has learned to sleep through it. --Seth Meyers

President Trump today attacked Amazon for the second time this week, tweeting, “I am right about Amazon costing the United States Post Office massive amounts of money for being their Delivery Boy.” This is when I appreciate Twitter. It used to be, if you wanted to hear a 71-year-old man whining about the post office, you had to go to the post office. --Seth Meyers

Donald Trump met with Steve Harvey at Trump Tower on Friday. Meanwhile, Trump's toupee and Harvey's mustache met for a play date. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Trump's toupee and Steve Harvey's mustache met for a play date (Lone Ranger)

After civil rights leader John Lewis called Donald Trump an illegitimate president, incoming chief of staff Reince Priebus claimed that Republicans never questioned the legitimacy of President Obama's election. And then President Obama sighed so hard his hair turned white. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump tweeted about Martin Luther King Jr. this morning, saying people should celebrate, quote, "All the many wonderful things that he stood for." He then quickly logged off before anyone asked him to name one. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump met with Steve Harvey at Trump Tower on Friday. Meanwhile, Trump's toupee and Harvey's mustache met for a play date. –Seth Meyers

Jeb got rid of his glasses the same week he got a gun

The 140th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show wrapped up last night and CJ, a German shorthaired pointer, took Best in Show — not, as Steve Harvey announced, “BEETHOVEN!!” --Seth Meyers

It's becoming increasingly obvious that our politics is a contact sport. It's mano a mano between people who would deport you if you understand the phrase "mano a mano." –Stephen Colbert

After saying he would never ditch his glasses, this week Jeb Bush appeared wearing contact lenses. Most people actually do look cooler without glasses, but Jeb looks like a turtle who has lost his shell. Is anyone else worried that Jeb got rid of his glasses the same week he got a gun? --James Corden