Well, that should answer the question of whether he's black enough (Today, President Clinton said, 'This means the terrorists have won.')

 

"As you know, Barack Obama's slogan is 'Yes We Can,' Hillary's new slogan, 'No, You Can't." Well did you hear about this? In a stunning announcement, Hillary Clinton is now telling people that she may want her delegates to vote at the convention for her. She hasn't given up yet. She's like Freddy Krueger in 'Nightmare on Elm Street.' It's back!" --Jay Leno

"In an interview in People magazine, Barack Obama said he was more a fan of Sonny and Cher than he was a fan of Donny and Marie. Well, that should answer the question of whether he's black enough." –Jay Leno

"After a three-year run, Hooters Airlines announced it's calling it quits, closing its doors. Today, President Clinton said, 'This means the terrorists have won.'" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I came back for seconds (Number two: Kelly Ripa)

November 2013

"Forbes magazine has named evil Russian President Vladimir Putin as the most powerful person in the world. Vladimir Putin, the most powerful person in the world. Number two: Kelly Ripa." –David Letterman

"It's been a big year for Vladimir Putin. People magazine also named him the sexiest dictator alive." –David Letterman

"New Jersey re-elected Governor Chris Christie. Or as Christie put it, 'I came back for seconds.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Rand Paul has been accused of cheating in three separate instances. When asked about the charges, Paul said, 'Four score and seven years ago...'" –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The service took forever, I was there for 25 years (Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam!)

April 2013

"Today Jason Collins, center for the Washington Wizards, announced he is gay. He said, 'I don't know what's been tougher on my family, announcing I'm gay or announcing that I play for the Washington Wizards.'" –Conan O'Brien

"There's a trend now of prison inmates reviewing their prison on Yelp. The downside is that people are now committing crimes just to get the amazing fish tacos at Rikers Island." –Conan O’Brien

"Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow. She's the most beautiful woman alive, according to People magazine. I thought to myself, 'Wow. Thank god, finally some hope for good-looking, thin blondes.' Gwyneth, by the way, still has to be confirmed by Congress." –David Letterman

"They are now reviewing prisons on Yelp. Although you do get your standard restaurant gripes, like 'service took forever, was there for 25 years." –Stephen Colbert

"We all know that if you look up Congress in the dictionary it says, Do-nothing f**ktards who couldn’t solve a problem if it was eating them alive anus first." –Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”