You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak (Free Throws)

"A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak." –Conan O'Brien

"Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the word 'I' 37 times, 'Romney' 7 times, and 'jobs' only once. And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Earlier this week -- this is weird, I just found out about this -- Shaquille O'Neal stopped by the White House unannounced to see President Obama, but a Secret Service agent turned him away. That really happened. The agent told Shaq to make an appointment and to someday make a free throw." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if China calls, let it go to voicemail (Imagine if you will...)

"Congress has rejected raising the debt ceiling, so if China calls, let it go to voicemail." –Stephen Colbert

"Mitt Romney has announced he's running for president in 2012. At the same time, he's announced he'll try again in 2016." –Stephen Colbert

"From bin Laden's compound we now know Al Qaeda demanded that its agents keep complete records and receipts for all expenses. No doubt using Al Quicken. Also, Al Qaeda gave its agents better benefits than Wal-Mart, although at Wal-Mart you get to use your vests more than once." –Stephen Colbert

"The Republicans blocked the bill to raise the debt ceiling that was so devious it was actually introduced by Republicans. [Actual quote from Republican Congressman] "This vote, based on a bill I introduced, must fail." That reminds me of Patrick Henry's famous cry: "Give me liberty and I don't want liberty." And before the vote Republicans called Wall Street Executives to assure them the vote was just for show." –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

every single Arizonan would have to look at porn 814 times (Give me big naturals, or give me death)

Of course a lot of great ideas come from outside of Washington. This isn’t one of them. An Arizona state legislator has proposed a bill to fund the border wall through a tax on porn. You want to start the next American revolution? Start taxing porn. As Patrick Henry once said, “Give me big naturals, or give me death.” --Stephen Colbert

The woman who wants to take away your porn is Arizona state rep Gail Griffin. Even if her bill passes, it may not be enough, because while Trump needs $5.7 Billion for his wall, Arizona plans on a tax of $20, but has only 7 million residents. That means to pay for the wall, every single Arizonan would have to look at porn 814 times. That could take hours. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Al Qaeda gave its agents better benefits than Wal-Mart

"Mitt Romney has announced he's running for president in 2012. At the same time, he's announced he'll try again in 2016." –Stephen Colbert



"From bin Laden's compound we now know Al Qaeda demanded that its agents keep complete records and receipts for all expenses. No doubt using Al Quicken. Also, Al Qaeda gave its agents better benefits than Wal-Mart, although at Wal-Mart you get to use your vests more than once." –Stephen Colbert



"The Republicans blocked the bill to raise the debt ceiling that was so devious it was actually introduced by Republicans. [Actual quote from Republican Congressman] "This vote, based on a bill I introduced, must fail." That reminds me of Patrick Henry's famous cry: "Give me liberty and I don't want liberty." And before the vote Republicans called Wall Street Executives to assure them the vote was just for show." –Stephen Colbert


John Hulse photography