They don't build'em like they used to (she will be replaced by an especially loud leaf blower)

Nancy Grace is leaving Headline News in October. The network announced she will be replaced by an especially loud leaf blower. –Conan O’Brien

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet. –Conan O’Brien

In a speech yesterday, Donald Trump spoke in favor of waterboarding. Trump said, "It’s how I got two of my three wives to say yes." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Rick Perry Can Revitalize His Campaign" (Party like a rock star, dude)

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Rick Perry Can Revitalize His Campaign"

10. Get a cool nickname, like Rick 'The Refrigerator' Perry 

9. Promise no immigration law will ever deport Sofia Vergara 

8. Vampire running mate 

7. A little mascara would bring out his gorgeous eyes 

6. Gain 400 pounds and become the governor of New Jersey 

5. Hold contest where one lucky winner gets to be executed by Perry 

4. Party like a rock star, dude 

3. Appear on the 'Late Show' — everyone knows the road to the White House goes through Dave 

2. Have one of them Nancy Grace 'wardrobe malfunctions' 

1. Figure out what the heck happened to the Red Sox

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

First we will defeat you, then we will redecorate your entire country (awkward showering for everyone in the military)

September 2011

"Two new books about Sarah Palin came out today. All of a sudden, I'm feeling OK about Borders going out of business." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The military's controversial 'don't ask, don't tell' policy was officially retired. This marks a new age of tolerance, acceptance, and awkward showering for everyone in the military." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"The military's controversial 'don't ask, don't tell' policy was officially retired. I think this will have an effect on our enemies. Be warned, evildoers. First we will defeat you, then we will redecorate your entire country." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"Some of the contestants on Dancing with the Stars … well, I've seen better dancing at the Republican National Convention. Nancy Grace showed how ironic a last name can be." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Visibility in Arizona they said was so bad that police were hassling white people (an actual glassy-eyed vulture)

July 2011

"In Arizona they had a dust storm that was two miles high and 15 miles wide. It looked like something out of a movie. Visibility in Arizona they said was so bad that police were hassling white people." –Bill Maher

"I was sure that the Republican plan to fix the economy by defaulting on the national debt would work, but apparently it didn't. The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann." –Bill Maher

"People are mad. There's a lot of soul-searching going on after the Casey Anthony verdict. Florida is looking into the jury selection process, their legislatures are reviewing laws, and CNN is considering whether Nancy Grace should be replaced by an actual glassy-eyed vulture." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

today Hillary was endorsed by the CEO of PornHub (loud leaf blower)

New York City is officially making its public bathrooms gender-neutral. So next time you try to use a public bathroom in New York, there could be either a man or a woman living in it. –Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton has unveiled a technology plan that would offer broadband Internet access to all Americans. Which is why today Hillary was endorsed by the CEO of PornHub. –Conan O’Brien

Nancy Grace is leaving Headline News in October. The network announced she will be replaced by an especially loud leaf blower. –Conan O’Brien