I’d marry again if... (One of you is lying)

By the time you say you’re his

Shivering and sighing

And he vows his passion is

Infinite, undying–

Lady, make a note of this

One of you is lying.

–Dorothy Parker

Putting one’s hand into a bag of snakes on the chance of drawing out an eel. –Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), Italian painter, sculptor, architect, engineer and scientist, on marriage

I’d marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year. –Bette Davis

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Pinkie Ring Hypnosis (which is always suspicious, all right?)

“Rudy Giuliani’s friends, aside from being born with resting 
mug shot faces, probably the biggest red flag with these guys 
was that they were buying a one-way ticket out of the country, 
which is always suspicious, all right? The only people who buy 
one-way tickets are criminals. And sky divers. That’s it.” 
--Trevor Noah

“So Trump and Giuliani are still a team. Whenever Donald Trump 

considers getting rid of Rudy, Rudy hypnotizes him with that giant 

pinkie ring he wears.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“There are 100 — maybe 500 more deserving Italians we could be 
celebrating. Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Marconi, Bon Jovi. We could have 
Bon Jovi Day. We could be celebrating — dress up as cowboys and on a 
steel horse we ride. Instead we honor a man whose gift to America was 
measles.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mona Lisa smiles because of her huge tax cut (You may now kiss the bride)

"Bush does not like change in his personnel. He likes to keep the same people. I think he got this from having the same third grade teacher year after year." --Jay Leno

 "They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out." --Jay Leno, on global warming

"President Bush surprised 30 immigrants by showing up and personally swearing them in as U.S. citizens. There was an awkward moment when President Bush said, 'You may now kiss the bride.'" --Conan O'Brien