We can't even get 72% of Americans to agree on what an M&M should wear (He has a lot of jobs)

February 2023

“Well, as I mentioned, last night was President Biden's State of the Union address. And I saw a poll that said 72% of people responded favorably to his speech. That’s amazing. We can't even get 72% of Americans to agree on what an M&M should wear.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, Biden's speech was passionate and energetic. He basically went from decaf green tea to Mountain Dew Code Red. At one point in his speech, Biden said, ‘COVID no longer controls our lives.’ He was like, ‘Now that honor belongs to TikTok.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Biden also talked about the strong jobs market. He said people are working as bankers, real-estate developers, dancers, philanthropists, Broadway producers, and that's just George Santos. He has a lot of jobs.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s like if the head ref of the Super Bowl was Tom Brady’s dad (And you can keep the gun)

September 2022

“Turns out, stashing top-secret government documents in the basement of your country club is, to use some technical jargon, super illegal.” —Stephen Colbert

“Given the national security implications of the documents, most legal scholars assumed a federal judge wouldn’t do anything to hinder the investigation by the justice department. But on Monday, federal judge Aileen Cannon granted Trump’s request for an independent ‘special master’ to sort relevant documents from those protected by attorney-client privilege, and barred the justice department from using the seized materials until that work is done. You know the old saying: ‘Justice delayed is just what he wants cuz he just needs time to shred the evidence.’ Cannon’s order also instructs the special master to look out specifically for documents potentially shielded by executive privilege. But he’s not the executive any more! Joe Biden is. So he doesn’t have any privilege here. That’s like saying to a bad cop, ‘All right, you’re fired. Gimme your badge and your gun but you can keep the car because we know you love the siren. And you can keep the gun.’” —Stephen Colbert

“This decision is bonkers. So why is Judge Cannon going so far out on this very, very stupid legal limb? I don’t know, maybe because she was appointed by the former president and confirmed just days after the presidential election in 2020. So she’s a brand-new judge, who was hand-picked by the guy doing the crimes to preside over the jurisdiction that includes the place where he was committing the crimes. That’s like if the head ref of the Super Bowl was Tom Brady’s dad.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He no play-a-da-game. He no make-a-da rules! (That is how the spider waits for the fly)

It is assumed that a woman must wait motionless,

until she is wooed. That is how the spider waits for

the fly. –George Bernard Shaw

He no play-a-da-game. He no make-a-da rules!

–Earl Butz, American politician, referring to the

Pope’s stricture against contraception

My girlfriend just found out she’s been taking

aspirin instead of the pill. Well, at least she

doesn’t have a headache - but I do. –Laugh-In,

NBC, 1969

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

man loots house, steals white woman (which is also his birth control policy)

April 2012

"New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, ‘black man loots house, steals white woman.’" –Bill Maher

"Cory Booker is not the only New Jersey politician who's done something brave like this. Gov. Chris Crisco – sorry Chris Christie – once ran into a burning restaurant to save 15 pounds of prime rib, but then got stuck in the window going out and burned his ass." –Bill Maher

"The pundits say Rick Santorum pulled out at just the right time, which is also his birth control policy." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”