The Handmaid’s Tale just got a late Emmy nomination for best documentary (the worst butt dial ever)

September 2021

“And finally, I read that surgeons successfully removed a Nokia cellphone from a man’s body after he swallowed it whole. The kids were so embarrassed. They’re like, ‘Dad, please swallow an iPhone next time.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“When reached for a comment, the man said he didn’t swallow it — it was just the worst butt dial ever.” —Jimmy Fallon

“First, last week’s storm damage from Hurricane Ida, which knocked out power in Louisiana and dumped a record 3.15 inches of rain in a single hour in Central Park. The downpour flooded New York’s subways and delayed flights at Newark airport, whose baggage room was inundated. So, pretty good day at Newark airport.” —Stephen Colbert

“The new abortion law in Texas encourages civilians to sue any Texan who assists with an abortion after six weeks, promising they can recover legal fees as well as $10,000 if they win. They’re incentivizing neighbors to turn on each other for cash. Bad news for fans of privacy rights, but great news for The Handmaid’s Tale, which just got a late Emmy nomination for best documentary.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

watching all the people in coach silently trudging past you just doesn’t hit the way it used to (And also a box of Magnum XLs)

Some airlines have announced that as part of Coronavirus safety procedures they will now be boarding from the back of the plane so that First Class will be the last to board. Apparently watching all the people in coach silently trudging past you just doesn’t hit the way it used to. —Michael Che

The police arrested 40 people in Central Park for not social distancing. Out of those 40 people, 35 were black, 4 were Hispanic and only 1 was white. I guess white people are harder to catch because they’re all greased up with sunscreen. —Michael Che

A 93 year old man at a nursing home in California hitch-hiked to a local convenience store so he could buy a chocolate bar to split with his girlfriend. And also a box of Magnum XLs. —Michael Che

Go Daddy has shut down a website that hosted a Miss Hitler beauty pageant. Coincidentally Miss Hitler beauty pageant was the working title for The Ingraham Angle. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Unless she needs to rush to Washington to fix the economy (the vice presidential debate will be postponed till after the election)

Did you see that David Blaine, the street magician,  and so here was a guy who was hanging for 60 hours in Central Park overnight. They left him. He was just hanging there. They just left the guy hanging there. It's the same thing McCain did to me last night. Here's good news, Paris Hilton is on the program tonight. Unless she needs to rush to Washington to fix the economy, and a lot of people don't know this but Paris Hilton was actually John McCain's first choice for running mate. --David Letterman 9/25/2008

Yeah, McCain got out of last night's show. I wasn't so lucky. But McCain wants the presidential debate postponed until after the the big government bailout. Sarah Palin wants the vice presidential debate postponed till after the election. --David Letterman 9/25/2008

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It makes the Iraqi government look stable (Cheney covered him with his shotgun)

"President Bush sneaked into town yesterday. He landed his helicopter right in Central Park. Security was very tight. He stepped out of the helicopter and Cheney covered him with his shotgun. " --David Letterman

"The good news is that Bush's trip to New York City was successful. He got Rosie O'Donnell to step down." --David Letterman

"Rosie O'Donnell has announced she is leaving 'The View.' After she made the announcement, she shaved her head and checked into rehab. Do you believe the turnover at that show? My God. It makes the Iraqi government look stable." --David Letterman

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html