Said the alligator, "No, no, it's cool. They said they'd see me later." (He does NOT play for Spain)

Authorities in Florida are searching for two men who left an injured alligator at a convenience store. Said the alligator, "No, no, it's cool. They said they'd see me later." --Seth Meyers

Burger King Russia has apologized for offering a lifetime supply of Whoppers to any Russian woman who could get pregnant with the child of a World Cup player. In related news, no matter what this guy says [picture of Burger King’s “The King” ad mascot], he does not play for Spain. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”