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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

In fact, they changed their name from WaMu to 'screw you.' (Cocoon was overrated)



"During tonight's debate, sources from Barack Obama's campaign say Obama is going to try to get John McCain to lose his temper. That's true. Obama is going to do this by claiming that the movie 'Cocoon' was overrated." --Conan O'Brien
"But Bush likes to see the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less banks. B, the banks don't have any money left. And C, nobody's got gas money for the getaway car. So, right there, crime is down!" --Jay Leno



"The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings and loans? Not enough savings, too many stupid loans, okay. In fact, they changed their name from WaMu to 'screw you.'" --Jay Leno



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