"Congress
is considering a law that would allow commuters to bring their dogs and cats on
Amtrak trains. It's all part of their plan to make Amtrak smell better."
–Jimmy Fallon
"I had an amazing experience in Cuba. People there are
fantastic. But I do have to say it's very nice to be back home in front of all
of you capitalist pigs."-Conan O'Brien
"President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret
Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped over the
White House fence for joy."–Conan O'Brien
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