"Will Congress approve taking action in Syria? First they
have to approve taking action in Congress." –Stephen Colbert
"While I was overseas, I couldn't really get much out of
the news. From what I could make out, President Obama wanted to drop Miley Cyrus
on Damascus." –Stephen Colbert
"Serena Williams won her 17th Grand Slam title at the U.S.
Open. I haven't seen that many Grand Slams since Chris Christie went out to
Denny's with me the other night." –Jimmy Fallon
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