and we send them Alex Rodriguez..

"The United States is going to make a deal with Russia and Syria. What could possibly go wrong? Here's the deal: Syria will turn over their stockpiled chemicals and we send them Alex Rodriguez." –David Letterman



"You know whose birthday it is? Evil Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, 48 years old today. It would be nice if he had a surprise birthday party from SEAL Team 6." –David Letterman