"That's right, 705 people saw a woman in a bikini and
thought, 'Muslim Extremist.'" –Stephen Colbert, on the fake outrage over
Indian-American Nina Davuluri being crowned Miss America, after it was reported
there were 705 tweets that mentioned "Miss America terrorist"
"Senate leaders Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell admitted
they have no Plan B if the House doesn't avoid a government shutdown. Of course
this raised a lot of questions, like: Since when did they have a Plan A?"
–Jimmy Fallon
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