NHL: Indiana Revolution vs Los Angeles Kings

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That man, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey (pretending you have universal healthcare)

Police arrested a man who pulled his car off to the side of the road and started to have sex with it. That man, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey. --Colin Jost

A group of hikers from Great Britain had to be rescued when they got lost after taking psychedelic mushrooms. More embarrassing, they never actually left the house. —Colin Jost

​​New York City lawmakers have proposed a new law to change the sound of emergency vehicle sirens to resemble those used in Europe. That way you can spend your time in the ambulance pretending you have universal healthcare. --Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone (Y'all Wild)

"A new study found that parents who only have daughters are more likely to be Republican, which I guess explains why my Dad registered as a Republican when he saw me throw a football." –Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin is going to Haiti this weekend to deliver humanitarian aid. If there's one thing that's reassuring, it's seeing Sarah Palin above you in a helicopter." –Jimmy Fallon

"George W. Bush’s daughter, Jenna, just put her home in Baltimore on the market for $500,000. The real estate agent said, 'I just want to warn you that offers have gone way down ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I mean, these people can barely deliver a pizza (Y'all Wild)

Bill O’Reilly has been fired by Fox News. It’s not that big of a surprise. We all saw this coming at us, you know, like an old man cornering an intern in the break room. –Stephen Colbert

Fox issued an official statement this afternoon on Bill O’Reilly’s dismissal. I think they just took the Roger Ailes statement and just changed the nouns. –Stephen Colbert

One adult video website announced it would donate snow removal services to several cities in the Northeast because it wants to “plow Boston.” Very generous. Very, very generous. I’m not sure I trust the porn industry with city services. I mean, these people can barely deliver a pizza. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Who among us hasn't had a couple of drinks and invaded Iraq? (poor customer service)

"President Bush is everywhere talking about his book and he's

being very candid. In one interview, he said that he used to do

stupid things while he was drunk. But think about it, who among

us hasn't had a couple of drinks and invaded Iraq?" –David

Letterman

"The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship." –David Letterman

"Since Osama bin Laden was killed, they say the brand name of Al Qaeda has been damaged. Osama bin Laden's death has damaged the brand — that and poor customer service." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's be a lot cooler if you did (More important, how could you tell if they were?)

So AOC is being called out for flying first class to speak at a Bernie Sanders fight oligarchy rally. We haven't seen this kind of hypocrisy since R Kelly told me not to pee on the toilet seat. —Greg Gutfeld

Financial experts predict that Trump’s tariffs may increase the cost of Botox. So are its regular users concerned? More important, how could you tell if they were? —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey Kid Rock, what's your take on inflation? (Just get a reverse mortgage on that!)

In other Trump news, the former president’s lawyers were forced to tell a court on Monday that they can’t find anyone to put up the $454 million bond needed to cover what he owes the state of New York. Gee, I wonder why? Can you imagine that call? – ‘Hi, we represent Donald Trump. We were wondering if you could – hello?’ —Jimmy Kimmel

“Who would’ve ever guessed that a hard-earned reputation for not ever paying your bills would make it difficult to get credit. And what’s the problem, anyway? Didn’t you say Mar-a-Lago is worth $1.8 billion? Just get a reverse mortgage on that!” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Yeah, in an interview Donald Trump said no president’s been treated worse than him. Yeah, even John Wilkes Booth is like, ‘Hold on.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That man, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey (Yeah, that’s our guy)

During Michael Cohen’s testimony before congress he accused President Trump of a variety of financial crimes, racism and just general movie villain stuff. And the republicans fired back saying, “Yeah, that’s our guy.” --Colin Jost, SNL

Police arrested a man who pulled his car off to the side of the road and started to have sex with it. That man, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey. --Colin Jost, SNL

This week President Trump met with North Korean dictator, and let’s face it, one of his top five closest friends, Kim Jong Un. Talks broke down when the two leaders could not agree on sanctions. Another problem was Kim Jong Un used an interpreter while Trump just spoke English, but louder. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, they already have a title for it. It's going to be called Yellowstoned (The specific charges are ‘everything.’)

February 2023

“I read that Biden's approval rating currently stands at 42%, just above the 41% he had at last year's State of the Union. That’s tough. It's like eating kale for an entire year, then realizing you only lost 1 pound, and you go, ‘I did this for a whole year.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today, Speaker Kevin McCarthy suggested that Congressman George Santos will face a House investigation. The specific charges are ‘everything.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Apparently, the "Yellowstone" series starring Kevin Costner is set to end. And a spin-off starring Matthew McConaughey could be in the works. Yeah, they already have a title for it. It's going to be called Yellowstoned.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow, the sexiest man alive was interviewed by Matthew McConaughey! (because she’s a medicine woman)

April 2021

“President Biden and former President Barack Obama appeared alongside several celebrities on an NBC special Sunday night encouraging Americans to get vaccinated. Almost no one watched that special. It had very low ratings. Why would we? We already had a special to promote the vaccine — it’s called the news every day for the past 13 months.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The stars turned out in force to promote the vaccine, from Kumail Nanjiani and Ellen Pompeo, to Amanda Seyfried and Jane Seymour. And you can trust Jane Seymour, because she’s a medicine woman.” —Stephen Colbert

“Another highlight came when Dr. Anthony Fauci was interviewed by actor Matthew McConaughey. Wow, the sexiest man alive was interviewed by Matthew McConaughey!” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is a journalist/This is a corporate shill (That man, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey)

President Trump began his State of the Union speech with his tie crooked in his jacket. While Mike Pence’s tie was so straight, it made me suspicious. --Colin Jost, SNL

A mother in Indiana was arrested after students at an elementary school were exposed to marijuana-laced gummies that she had brought to school. Teachers became suspicious at recess when the kids tried to sync up “Dark Side of the Moon” with “Paw Patrol.” --Colin Jost, SNL

Police arrested a man who pulled his car off to the side of the road and started to have sex with it. That man, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey. --Colin Jost, SNL

Delta Airlines has introduced a new plane that features windows in the bathroom. Unfortunately, they face into the cabin. --Colin Jost, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's like if the Girl Scouts decided to stop selling cookies on 420 (Please be Valentine's Day)

I heard that President Trump is planning to have his second meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un next month. But so far no date has been announced. Which means right now Melania is like, "Please be Valentine's Day. Please be Valentine's Day." --Jimmy Fallon

I heard that CBS is refusing to air an ad that calls for legalizing weed during the Super Bowl. Instead they're just going to air one of those Matthew McConaughey ads that makes you feel like you're high. --Jimmy Fallon

Speaking of the Super Bowl, I read that the stadium in Atlanta that's hosting has a Chick-fil-A in the stadium. But it's closed on Super Bowl Sunday. What are they doing? That's like if the Girl Scouts decided to stop selling cookies on 420. --Jimmy Fallon

A billionaire just bought a $238 million penthouse overlooking Central Park. It's the most anyone has ever paid for a home in the U.S. but since it's New York, he's still going to live with three roommates. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #7

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats