It's be a lot cooler if you did (More important, how could you tell if they were?)

So AOC is being called out for flying first class to speak at a Bernie Sanders fight oligarchy rally. We haven't seen this kind of hypocrisy since R Kelly told me not to pee on the toilet seat. —Greg Gutfeld

Financial experts predict that Trump’s tariffs may increase the cost of Botox. So are its regular users concerned? More important, how could you tell if they were? —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey we're playing MS-13 tonight! (Nancy Pelosi is seeking the death penalty)

President Trump signed an order today to dismantle the Department of Education. One angry ex employee claims it was the worst thing to happen since the Nazis won the Civil War. —Greg Gutfeld

You can definitely tell spring is here. In Central Park this afternoon I saw a rat catching a Frisbee. On my way into work this morning I saw my Uber driver applying sunblock to his middle finger and earlier today in Times Square I saw a Venezuelan gang member carrying a softball mitt. Yeah, hey we're playing MS-13 tonight! —Greg Gutfeld 

Hilaria Baldwin defended lashing out at her husband Alec during an awkward red carpet interview. She claimed he was man-terrupting which sure beats manslaughtering. —Greg Gutfeld

US border officials in Indiana have confiscated nearly $10,000 worth of fake Botox products. Nancy Pelosi is seeking the death penalty. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

she gives it two shots of Botox then stabs it in the back (complete sentence lying)

Thanksgiving is next week which means down in Washington the White House kitchen staff has to hide the gravy boats so Joe Biden doesn't crap in them. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile Nancy Pelosi is preparing her Thanksgiving turkey. After stuffing the bird with breadcrumbs, celery and onion she gives it two shots of Botox then stabs it in the back. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Please return to your home and cease rebellion (What are you in for?)

A House ethics report on the disgraced congressman George Santos found that he misspent campaign funds on Botox, lavish trips to Atlantic City, designer goods and “smaller purchases” on OnlyFans, among other things. It’s quite a list – Botox, Atlantic City, OnlyFans and designer goods. Is he a congressman or a lesser Kardashian? He’s got the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife. —Seth Meyers

“If there are any fans of stupidity and corruption out there, you have joined us on the right night, hours after the House ethics report on George Santos revealed that the disgraced New York congressman sought to fraudulently exploit every aspect of his House candidacy for his own personal financial profit and “brought severe discredit upon the House”. That is not easy to do. Because these days, the dignity of the House is slightly below a Golden Corral that just ran out of steak. —Stephen Colbert

“George Santos got caught spending campaign money on Botox and OnlyFans. And this is on top of him stealing credit cards, wire fraud and identity theft. When he goes to jail, and they ask him, ‘What are you in for?’ he’s going to be, like, ‘Everything!’” — Leslie Jones

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

like a mob boss counting singles in the back room of a strip club (this is all you need to know)

March 2022

“President Biden referred this week to Vladimir Putin, Russia’s leader, as a ‘war criminal,’ and a Kremlin spokesman responded by saying the statement was unfair and hypocritical, citing the United States’ bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II. Seriously, Russia, you’re gonna bring up something America did in the ’40s? America has committed plenty of war crimes since then. Keep up with the times, yo!” —Trevor Noah

“And just because America committed war crimes doesn’t mean you have to as well, Vladimir Putin. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too? No, seriously, would you? I’m just brainstorming ways to end this whole thing.” —Trevor Noah

“In other Russia news, pharmaceutical companies stopped shipping non-essential drugs to Russia, including Botox, which is interesting, because Vladimir Putin is widely rumored to use Botox. They’re just rumors, but based on one photograph he absolutely, 100% does. It’s like a real housewife of St Petersburg. What a weird time for Russians: their assets are frozen but their foreheads are not.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In case you forgot, 2019 is when then-president Trump spoke to Volodymyr Zelensky on the phone and threatened to withhold military aid unless the Ukrainian president provided him a political favor; the call underpinned Trump’s first impeachment trial. Yet in a speech this week, the House minority leader, Kevin McCarthy, blamed Biden for holding up aid to Ukraine. Are you for real? Does your cable package not have History Channel: Stuff That Happened Three Years Ago? You’re saying Biden is the one who should’ve given Ukraine the aid sooner? The guy you supported tried to extort Ukraine like a mob boss counting singles in the back room of a strip club.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

workers are now watching reruns of Breaking Bad just to get the meth recipes (That's how bad it's gotten)

September 2013

"You can see the effects of the government shutdown all over town. President Obama is now down to just one teleprompter." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad the animals at the National Zoo are being auctioned off to HomeTown Buffet. That's how bad it is." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad Iran will now be forced to negotiate with Dennis Rodman. That's how bad it's gotten." –Jay Leno

"It's hurting everybody. In fact, Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry are now being forced to use the same Botox needle. That's how bad it's gotten." –Jay Leno

"At the TSA, they're making passengers fondle and grope themselves. That's how bad." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad a lot of government workers are now watching reruns of Breaking Bad just to get the meth recipes. That's how bad it's gotten." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad John Boehner can't afford tanning cream anymore. He's just rubbing his face with Cheetos dust. That's how bad." –Jay Leno

"It is so bad Harry Reid has been forced to change his own embalming fluid. That's how bad it's gotten." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The people don't believe our Bull**** anymore ($2 Million dollars. Plus tip.)

The NFL hosted a private workout for Colin Kaepernick in
Atlanta today to prove that he can still play in the NFL. But
if he can’t, he can always play for the New York Giants.
--Michael Che

During the Chinese shopping holiday known as Singles Day
which celebrates people who are single, shoppers spent
$1 Billion dollars in the first 60 seconds. Consequently,
blowing a big wad in the first 60 seconds are why many
of them are single in the first place. --Michael Che

A man in Iowa who went to a medical clinic for a circumcision
and instead given a vasectomy was awarded $2 Million dollars.
Plus tip. --Michael Che

Sesame Street has turned 50 years old which explains why
Big Bird got Botox. --Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It was less than a Super Bowl and more of a Just Okay Bowl (the opposite of a nail-biter)

Did you watch the Super Bowl? The game was terrible. It was the lowest scoring game in Super Bowl history and the lowest rated in ten years. It was less than a Super Bowl and more of a Just Okay Bowl. --James Corden

The Patriots beat the Rams and everyone here in Los Angeles is devastated. I mean I think they are. It’s hard to tell with the levels of Botox in Los Angeles how anyone really feels. --James Corden

Watching that Super Bowl was the opposite of a nail-biter. It was a nail grower. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

he went to his favorite bondage nightclub and demanded to be spanked (things you have to apologize for later)

"You people are so lucky you live in California. This heat wave back east is just unbelievable. It was so hot in Washington, Nancy Pelosi skipped the Botox, had her face injected with frozen yogurt." –Jay Leno

"Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq on July 4. It was a surprise because Biden thought he was going to Des Moines for a fund-raiser." –Jay Leno

"While Vice President Biden was away, Republican Chairman Michael Steele was forced to take over the job of saying embarrassing things you have to apologize for later." –Jay Leno

"You hear about this? Michael Steele said that — well, he's in trouble, actually — for saying the war in Afghanistan was Obama's war, and it was unwinnable. In fact, Steele felt so sorry for it, he said today he went to his favorite bondage nightclub, demanded to be spanked." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”