ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone (Y'all Wild)

"A new study found that parents who only have daughters are more likely to be Republican, which I guess explains why my Dad registered as a Republican when he saw me throw a football." –Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin is going to Haiti this weekend to deliver humanitarian aid. If there's one thing that's reassuring, it's seeing Sarah Palin above you in a helicopter." –Jimmy Fallon

"George W. Bush’s daughter, Jenna, just put her home in Baltimore on the market for $500,000. The real estate agent said, 'I just want to warn you that offers have gone way down ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Man, if those walls could talk (she was deeply saddened to be reminded that your partner could live that long)

A Goldman Sachs executive has bought Jeffrey Epstein’s former upper East Side mansion for more than $50 Million. Man, if those walls could talk I bet they would commit suicide before they had a chance to talk. —Michael Che

Melania Trump made a rare public appearance when she attended the funeral of former first lady Rosalyn Carter at the age of 96. Melania said that she was deeply saddened to be reminded that your partner could live that long. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow! Wait till she hears about White Christmas (Birthday Cards)

On a recent podcast, Sydney Sweeney was asked if her breasts were real while she was attached to a lie detector. In a related story I’ve been moonlighting as a lie detector. —Greg Gutfeld

When describing her book tour, Kamala Harris said, “Every place we’ve gone has sold out.” Yes, of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. —Greg Gutfeld

Joy Reid posted a video where she claimed Jingle Bells is racist. Wow! Wait till she hears about White Christmas. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Eight Dorks of the Apocalypse (next year we won’t need a Person of the Year)

“There’s one thing Donald Trump won’t see his face on anytime soon. That’s Time magazine, ’cause they just announced their person of the year, and it isn’t him. Instead, it’s the other thing that’s going to kill us all: ‘The Architects of A.I.’” — Stephen Colbert

“There they are, the Eight Dorks of the Apocalypse. The people who replaced people are the people of the year this year.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“That cover photo there is inspired by a famous photo of iron workers having lunch on the steel beam of a skyscraper. There’s one slight difference: This time, you’re rooting for the wind.” — Stephen Colbert

“Just think, thanks to them, next year we won’t need a Person of the Year.” — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You have to give more information to rent a Toyota Camry (You know, they have Katy Perry now)

The government has begun accepting applications for what President Trump calls the Trump Gold Card, an expedited visa for foreigners who pay $1 million or more.  Trump — he thinks citizenship is something you could sell, like a condo, or a steak, or Eric when he was a baby. — Jimmy Kimmel

“You would think that a transaction like this would involve a good deal of paperwork, right? Nope. The application’s one page long. You have to give more information to rent a Toyota Camry.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“A quick message here to rich immigrants: Before you pony up, have you considered Canada? You know, they have Katy Perry now.” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”