in his defense, the law is complicated, and he is only a Supreme Court justice (Game of Thrones cosplay character)

April 2023

“Last week, we learned that Clarence Thomas had secretly accepted luxury trips from right-wing billionaire Harlan Crow. And that’s his actual name, not his ‘Game of Thrones’ cosplay character.” —Jordan Klepper

“On top of that, Clarence Thomas’s mom is still living in that house rent-free, and Harlan Crow is paying for thousands of dollars of renovations. All of which Clarence Thomas should have disclosed by law — although, in his defense, the law is complicated, and he is only a Supreme Court justice.” —Jordan Klepper

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Harsh, accurate words (Do I get a sash?)

“Last night, the former sat down with Tucker Carlson who, thanks to revelations from the Dominion lawsuit, we now know hates the president passionately, privately texting that he’s ‘a demonic force.’ Harsh, accurate words.” — Stephen Colbert

“A judge sanctioned Fox News on Wednesday for withholding evidence relevant to Dominion Voting Systems’ lawsuit. He said he would probably appoint a ‘special master’ — an outside lawyer — to investigate whether the network had misled the court. So the job is to figure out whether Fox News lies? Hold on, hold on — am I a special master? Do I get a sash?” —Stephen Colbert

“Over in Fox News today they began jury selection in Dominion’s $1.6 billion defamation suit against Fox, and this trial’s gonna be juicy. For instance, the judge has ruled that Dominion can compel testimony from Fox News personalities Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and Jeanine Pirro. And to make sure Jeanine Pirro tells the truth, they’re swearing her in on a box of wine.” —Stephen Colbert

“So the judge is furious because Fox withheld the tapes. Although to be fair to Fox, they might not have known which embarrassing Rudy Giuliani tape they were being asked for. The one where the oil was leaking from his head or the one where he’s farting in court? The one where he’s unbuttoning his pants for Borat’s daughter? Or could it be the one where he held a press conference outside a dildo shop? How are they supposed to keep track of them all?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: Mitt Romney Proposes “Mass-Shooting Insurance”

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bush thought he was meeting the professor from the Hogwarts school (the planting of bugs)

"Yesterday at Camp David, President Bush signed a bill into law that expands his wiretapping powers. President Bush said he knew the bill would pass because he had bugs planted in both houses of Congress." --Jay Leno

  

"Today in Washington, President Bush met with the president of Afghanistan, who was wearing that hat and the robe. President Bush was a little confused. He thought he was meeting the professor from the Hogwarts school." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

it's about a guy who works for the government who can't remember his past (mental health problem)

"Congratulations to Matt Damon. His movie, 'The Bourne Ultimatum,' had the biggest movie opening ever for the month of August. It made $70 million. Today, Senator John McCain asked Matt Damon to be his running mate." --Jay Leno

"If you haven't seen the movie, it's about a guy who works for the government who can't remember his past. I think the original title was 'The Alberto Gonzales Story.'" --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

someone with a laptop, an axe to grind and their virginity (extra vetting)

"A serious disaster was threatening the country. I'm talking, of course, about the YearlyKos blogger convention in Chicago. For those of you who don't know what a blogger is, it is someone who has a laptop, an axe to grind and their virginity." --Stephen Colbert

"I've been warning you about these digital totalitarians, but the real hero, the 300-pound canary in this coal mine, has been Bill O'Reilly. Or, as I now call him, Papa Bird. He had DailyKos pegged from the start [on screen: O'Reilly saying there is no difference between the DailyKos and the Ku Klux Klan]. There is actually one minor difference. DailyKos sends you a flaming cross by e-card." --Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

What is a defining mistake of your life and why? (second cousins and third wives)

    

"Across the aisle, on Sunday, all nine Republican candidates skipped church to take part in a forum on ABC's 'This Week.' The highlight? When George Stephanopoulos asked each contender this question [on screen: Stephanopoulos asking, 'What is a defining mistake of your life and why?'] At least one candidate managed to be both honest and evasive [on screen: Rudy Giuliani saying, 'To have a description of my mistakes in 30 seconds?' and then shaking his head no]. I mean, here's a hint. It starts with annulling my first marriage to my second cousin and it ends with my kids from my second marriage supporting Barack Obama because they hate my third wife." --Jon Stewart

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

ISIS and Al-Qaeda and the NRA (14-year-old assistant district attorney)

By now, you’ve probably heard of Alabama senatorial candidate and former judge Roy Moore. Last week, allegations surfaced that when Moore was an assistant district attorney in the 1970s, he had sexual contact with a 14-year-old. Which would be appropriate only if he were a 14-year-old assistant district attorney. –Stephen Colbert

To defend himself, Roy Moore went on the Hannity radio show to strongly ... make things much worse. [plays clip] Hannity: “Do you remember dating girls that young at that time?” Moore: “Not generally, no.” Oh, no, not generally. But specifically, you betcha! –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Finally, some good in-flight entertainment! (just when you think you know someone)

I heard that O.J. Simpson was kicked out of a bar in Las Vegas for being drunk and belligerent. Wow — just when you think you know someone. –Jimmy Fallon

A plane in India had to make an emergency landing after a passenger found out her husband was cheating on her mid-flight. The passengers were like, “Finally, some good in-flight entertainment!” –Jimmy Fallon     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

the governor had just flown in from the 1950s (underwear model)

"Last week was a busy, busy week for both major parties. Starting with the Democrats, who met for a candidates forum on Logo, the gay-oriented cable channel that is not Lifetime or Bravo. It was generally a friendly event, except for one William Richardson [on screen: Richardson saying homosexuality is a choice, when asked if homosexuality is a choice or it is biological]. Richardson then swung into damage control mode, explaining the next day he didn't understand the question because of jet lag. Yes, apparently, the governor had just flown in from the 1950s." --Jon Stewart

"The Iowa straw poll, a quadrennial ritual for Republican candidates, was held Saturday in Ames, Iowa. And the big winner of this unofficial, preseason survey of the Iowa electorate? Former Massachusetts Governor/part-time J.C. Penny catalogue underwear model Mitt Romney with over 30% of the vote." --Jon Stewart

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I blame President Hillary Clinton (I don’t blame China)

  

Trump is in China to negotiate a tough trade deal. In the past, he’s accused the Chinese of currency manipulation, so he played his cards close to his chest — and immediately folded. [clip of Trump] “Both the United States and China will have a more prosperous future if we can achieve a level economic playing field. Right now, unfortunately, it is a very one-sided and unfair one. But I don’t blame China.” No, no. “I don’t blame China. Like everything else, I blame President Hillary Clinton. She has got to go.” –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Almighty Is In (Yeezy Mud Rat 500)

Kim Kardashian posted an Instagram photo yesterday of Kanye West’s upcoming sneaker model, the Yeezy Mud Rat 500. Incidentally, Mud Rat 500 was also Steve Bannon’s AOL screen name. –Seth Meyers

The Chinese gave Trump a hero’s welcome. Then he and Xi walked the red carpet, where Trump was greeted by his biggest fans: totally not-staged adoring Chinese children. “Thank you. You’re all so good at making my hats. Thank you so much.” –Stephen Colbert

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Where do you stand on these mass killings? (Moment of Silence)

Why is Trump complimenting China? I feel like this is part of Trump’s strategy to suck up to the Chinese people until they finally tell him how they built their wall. –James Corden

Trump claims the United States’ trade deal with China is unfair. Of course it is. The United States sends China high-quality American-made products, and in exchange China sends back the Donald J. Trump signature suit collection. –James Corden

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I am loving some of these purchases you are making (Not a Gun Situation)

President Trump continues his diplomatic tour through Asia. Yesterday, in a joint appearance with Chinese President Xi Jinping, Trump gave China “great credit for taking advantage of the United States in trade negotiations.” Sounds like someone is looking for a new country to help him rig the next election. –James Corden

He said China took advantage of the United States, but then he gives China great credit for it. That’s like someone stealing your bank card and you going, “What the hell! Although, I am loving some of these purchases you are making.” –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

You know what this year needs? More Twitter (Let Us Prey)

Today, Twitter doubled the amount of characters you can use from 140 to 280 characters. I think this means Twitter is now Facebook, right? They're basically the same thing — or is it possible there is anyone on the planet who thought, "You know what this year needs? More Twitter." –Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump is either going to have to quit Twitter or someone is going to have to teach him more words. I know it sounds crazy but I think I'm going to miss the way Trump would post a tweet that ended with “dot, dot, dot…” and we'd have to wait 23 minutes to see what the rest of his angry sentence was going to be. Now all that drama is gone. –Jimmy Kimmel

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

He will betray you in 30 minutes or less (Dear God, let congress grow a pair)

Yesterday was an awful day for Trump and the Republicans at the polls. Ed Gillespie, who was running for governor of Virginia, lost his race. He had been heavily endorsed by Donald Trump for a month. Trump had been doing tweets and everything. Now, if you expected Trump to distance himself from Gillespie immediately after the loss, you are wrong. Trump waited a full 28 minutes before he distanced himself. –James Corden

Trump tweeted: “Ed Gillespie worked hard but did not embrace me or what I stand for.” He waited 28 minutes before tweeting that. He's like the Domino’s pizza of backstabbing. He will betray you in 30 minutes or less. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

pretty soon it's just going to be Fox & Friend (sexiest man alive!)

Former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon said this weekend that he tries to be bad cop to President Trump's good cop. Wow. Imagine what a bad cop you have to be for Donald Trump to be your good cop. –Seth Meyers

According to a CNN poll, President Trump's approval rating has reached a new low of 36 percent. He's so unpopular, pretty soon it's just going to be "Fox & Friend." –Seth Meyers

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross reportedly overstated his wealth by $2 billion to gain a spot on Forbes magazine’s annual list of richest Americans. I'm just glad he finally gave up on sexiest man alive! –Seth Meyers

   

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

It's never too late to insist it's too soon!

Even after people pointed out his error online, he tweeted the mistake a second time. So apparently, the Trump family only knows how to fix elections, not tweets. –James Corden

A new iPhone glitch is causing the lowercase letter "I" to be replaced by weird symbols. Have you experienced this? It's so odd. Apple addressed the issue with an official statement saying, "What are you gonna do, buy a Samsung?" –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness (tomorrow, or the next day)

It's Election Day around the country and many people are headed to the polls — except for one person, because this morning Donald Trump, Jr., tweeted that Virginians should vote tomorrow. How far did Donald, Jr., set his clock back this weekend? He thinks today is Monday. –James Corden

But I agree with Donald Jr.'s tweet. Definitely go out and vote for his candidate tomorrow. Do it tomorrow. Get a good night's sleep and do it tomorrow. Or the next day. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

And that is why, in 1941, America invaded China (Different Results)

     

"As you know, the Bush administration's conduct concerning prosecuting the war on terror has been questioned by some. But as the president himself explains, there is a perfectly good reason why we don't understand what he's doing [on screen: Bush, in multiple interviews, saying Iraq is 'a totally different kind of war']. 

Obviously, we invaded Iraq initially because this war is historically unprecedented. Yesterday, the president explained to us why we must stay in Iraq -- historical precedent. Yes, that was the message yesterday as Bush addressed the Veterans of Foreign Wars, an organization whose numbers he has personally done so much to boost. 

[on screen: Bush citing the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor to make the case for the Iraq war]. And that is why, in 1941, America invaded China. Yes, with the pivotal Petraeus surge report just weeks away, Bush began his surge to gain support for the Iraq war the only way left by talking up a bunch of other wars." --Jon Stewart

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans