"President Bush on
Tuesday reluctantly released portions of the classified report that stated the
war in Iraq is adding to the terrorist threat throughout the world. Though
suspiciously in some portions of the report, someone had crossed out Iraq and
written in, 'Gay dudes'." --Amy Poehler of Saturday Night Live
"This was a little
frightening. Over the weekend, the Royal Mounted Police up in Canada busted a
group of Canadian terrorists -- a Canadian al Qaeda group. About 19 of them.
Their motto was: 'Death to America, ey?' The Canadian terrorist group was led
by Canadian mastermind, Gordy bin Laden." --David Letterman
"A Tomahawk cruise
missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that
unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass
destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno
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