Nice to see our surveillance cameras being used non-stop in the war against terror

"There are reports the Republican Party were pressuring Tom DeLay to leave. Like this past weekend, Cheney said if DeLay did not step down, he'd shoot him." --Jay Leno

"This 56-year-old guy named Brian Doyle, the deputy press secretary of the Homeland Security Department, was arrested on 23 counts of using his government computer and cell pone to try and have sex with a 14-year-old girl. He would send these girls porno on the Web cam. Nice to see our surveillance cameras being used non-stop in the war against terror." --Jay Leno

"A second Homeland Security official has been arrested, a 49-year-old guy named Frank Figueroa, he was caught exposing and fondling himself to a teenage girl in a shopping mall in Florida. Do you realize? If Osama bin Laden was a 14-year old girl, we would have had him by now. Who is going to start protecting us from the Department of Homeland Security? It kind of makes you long for the good old wholesome days of the Clinton administration." --Jay Leno