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Saturday, August 27, 2016

it prevents you from getting cancer and from having sex (just get a parrot)



KFC has released sunscreen that smells like fried chicken. People who’ve tried it say it prevents you from getting cancer and from having sex. –Conan O’Brien
Journalists have tried contacting Hillary about this damaging email development. Unfortunately, they keep getting auto-replies that say "Sorry, I am out of the Oval Office until January." –James Corden
In other Clinton news, her campaign manager, Robby Mook, said in an interview on CNN that they are having a hard time finding someone as "hateful" and "divisive" as Trump to go up against Hillary in her practice debates. It seems like it'd be easy to prep for a Trump debate — just get a parrot and train it to say three things: "email," "wall," and "huge." –James Corden



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