The woman he slept with last weekend is already four months pregnant (a fair and Speedo trial)

After lying to Rio police, Ryan Lochte has been summoned to Rio to testify. In accordance with the Brazilian Constitution, he has the right to a fair and Speedo trial. –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, after winning three gold medals in Rio, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt was caught cheating on his girlfriend. Here's how fast Bolt is: The woman he slept with last weekend is already four months pregnant. –Conan O’Brien

There are rumors that Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte has signed a deal to appear on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars." It'll be nice for Lochte to have three people judging him instead of the whole country. –James Corden