Cheney's lesbian daughter is the National's bullpen catcher (Bush has been to a museum)

"Dick Cheney threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Washington Nationals baseball game. And talk about irony. Did you hear what happened? He threw the ball and hit a quail. Killed it." --David Letterman

"It's a family affair because Cheney's lesbian daughter is the National's bullpen catcher." --David Letterman, on Cheney throwing at the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener

"Tomorrow, President Bush's childhood home in Midland, Texas, will be officially turned into a museum. So it turns out the president has been to a museum." --Conan O'Brien