The Pentagon's been spying on gay groups (round-toe pumps)

"It's tax time and President Bush is saving a lot on taxes this year. He's writing off his entire second term." --David Letterman

"The president of Iran has announced, 'We are a nuclear country.' You know what's scary about that? The president of Iran knows how to pronounce nuclear." --David Letterman

"The Pentagon's been spying on gay groups. The government said they didn't find any terrorist cells, but they did learn that this Fall, Prada is bringing back round-toe pumps." --Conan O'Brien