"Both Jack Abramoff
and Monica Lewinsky went to Beverly Hills High School. Ironically, they both
went on to embarrass presidents with scandals about the same thing: getting
something under the table." --Jay Leno
"The latest in Iraq:
the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House,
but with more oil." --Jay Leno
"The biggest surprise
of the election: it was the lowest voter turnout ever. A dismal 63.2%. That's
the lowest turn-out they've ever had. You know we shouldn't be bringing
democracy to the Middle East, they should be bringing it to us." --Jon
Stewart, on the Israeli election
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