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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I'm going to build a speed bump and make Taco Bell pay for it (Siri, how will I die?)



Papa John’s has announced it will be coming out with an app for Apple TV that will allow customers to order pizza from their screen. You get a soda, breadsticks, and a large pizza when you say, “Siri, how will I die?” –Seth Meyers
Sarah Palin just posted on Facebook that she tripped and fell while doing something called “Rock-running.” Not sure what rock-running is, but I think it’s when you jog while playing air guitar. Palin fell and hit her head on a rock. Don’t worry, she’s OK or, you know, the same. –Stephen Colbert
Trump is planning a major immigration policy speech Wednesday in Arizona. Now, he was originally supposed to give it last Thursday in Colorado, so it moved later and further south. If he delays it again, it’s Monday at the Panama Canal. –Stephen Colbert


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