Remember
a few months ago when future former President Barack Obama got Iran to release
four American prisoners? Well, it turns out he forgot to tell us about a small
shipping and handling fee. Because as the prisoners were freed, $400 million
was flown to Iran on a plane loaded with cash. Don't you hate it when you're on
an airplane and you get stuck sitting next to $400 million? You don't know who
gets the armrest. –Stephen Colbert
This
week Trump attacked a Gold Star family, seemed happy about getting a Purple
Heart as a gift — ’cuz it was so much easier than EARNING one — and appeared to
feud with a crying baby at a campaign rally. Things have gotten so bad that
Trump's allies are plotting an intervention. An intervention! “They love you
Donald, and the first step to recovery is admitting that YOU’RE the problem.”
–Stephen Colbert
I’m
guessing this is just wishful thinking, but senior GOP officials are exploring
options if Trump drops out. In fact, top Republicans have been seen standing
outside Mitt Romney's house holding boom boxes. –Stephen Colbert
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