"A lot of people were
offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other
day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll
in front of company." --Jay Leno
"At the end of last
night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million
votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever
received. In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke
machine." --Conan O'Brien
"This Taepo-Dong
could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust.
By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing
military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you
mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour
ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's
working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a
charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows
up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy." --Daily Show correspondent
Rob Corddry
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