This
weekend, Donald Trump tried to win over black voters by asking them, "What
the hell do you have to lose?" Coincidentally, that’s also the way he
proposed to all three of his wives. –Conan O’Brien
No
one was hurt, everyone’s fine, but over the weekend, Leonardo DiCaprio and his
model girlfriend were in a fender bender. DiCaprio and his girlfriend are being
listed in highly doable condition. –Conan O’Brien
A
man in New Jersey passed away on Tuesday and it became clear that he was
cheating on his wife when two obituaries, one by his spouse and the other by
his girlfriend, appeared in the local paper, one above the other. I don't know
what he died from, but I'm guessing it was from exhaustion. –James Corden
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