"This Taepo-Dong
could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust.
By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing
military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you
mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour
ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's
working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a
charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows
up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy." --Daily Show
correspondent Rob Corddry
"Iranian President
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is trying to win over the American people. It's sort of a
PR campaign. Earlier today, over at the U.N., he was signing baseballs that
said, 'I'm sorry I enriched uranium'." --David Letterman
"According to a new
survey, Hillary Clinton's popularity rating is down to its lowest point in over
a year. When Bill Clinton heard this, he said, 'If there's one thing Hillary
can do, it's bring polls down.'" --Conan O'Brein
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