Destroying symbols of oppression is far more American than celebrating them (Barack Obama used to be a Democrat too)

September 2011

"Rick Perry and Mitt Romney squared off at the Republican debate. The only thing they agreed on was 'shampoo, rinse, and repeat.'" –Jay Leno

"Don't they look like two guys waiting to audition for the same part in a soap opera?" –Jay Leno

"Actually, history was made at the Reagan Library last night. I believe it was the first time Michele Bachmann has ever been in a library." –Jay Leno

"The cool thing about the Reagan Library is that they have Reagan's Air Force One plane parked inside. That's about as close to Air Force One as any of them are going to get." –Jay Leno

"Rick Perry used to be a Democrat. But then again, Barack Obama used to be a Democrat too." –Jay Leno

"Rick Perry also defended his claim that Social Security is nothing but a Ponzi scheme. Michele Bachmann jumped on that. She told them flat out, "Hey, it has to be either a Fonzi scheme or a Potsie scheme. There was no ponzi..." –Jay Leno

"Earlier this evening President Obama gave his big jobs speech. So what we had tonight was a guy whose job nobody approves of, giving a speech about jobs that don't exist, to people who don't have any jobs. So it's a real positive, uplifting..." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

a dominatrix who forgets their safe word

Last night's debate at the Reagan Library was the most watched program in CNN history. CNN said they were thrilled with the ratings but even happier they could finally show a plane that wasn't missing. –Conan O’Brien

During last night's debate, Jeb Bush wanted Donald Trump to apologize to his wife but Trump refused. Trump said, "If I apologized to wives I wouldn't be on my third one." –Conan O’Brien

Britain's longest-serving dominatrix is retiring at the age of 66. Apparently men no longer want to hire a dominatrix who forgets their safe word. –Conan O’Brien

I learned there were people running for president other than Donald Trump

Tonight the Republican candidates for president gathered to debate at the Reagan presidential library, not too far from us here in Simi Valley. Debates are a great way to learn about candidates. For example, tonight I learned there were people running for president other than Donald Trump. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump gave a speech from the deck of a battleship where he warned us about crime and drugs coming from down below. “The drug cartels are going wild. They cannot believe how stupid our government is. They are making a fortune. The drugs come in, the money goes out, daily.” He's right, we have to start making drugs in America again, American drugs. –Jimmy Kimmel

Tony the Tiger was gunned down by a Minnesota dentist

Tomorrow night’s second GOP debate will take place at the Reagan Presidential Library. So on behalf of librarians everywhere, let me just say “shhh…” –Seth Meyers

New national poll numbers show Dr. Ben Carson has pulled within four points of frontrunner Donald Trump. And I’m sure it’s not the first time Trump has been closely pursued by a brain surgeon. –Seth Meyers

Kellogg’s announced today that it will be spending 450 million dollars in an effort to expand its food distribution to Africa. Though sadly, it was reported today that Tony the Tiger was gunned down by a Minnesota dentist. –Seth Meyers