So not only did our Air Force get a direct hit, they also got an incredible deal on a pre-owned Buick Regal (Kilometery Cyrus)

February 2023

“After the US military shot down three unidentified flying objects in as many days, on Monday, the US set up a new task force on UFOs. Interesting coincidence. That’s like your flight attendant saying, ‘Uh, attention passengers, everyone in the cockpit is totally fine and conscious. Totally unrelated, we are setting up a task force on how to land a plane.’” —Stephen Colbert

“It is possible, that the UFOs could be sky trash detected with new sensitivity on radar settings; the White House said there are ‘hundreds, if not thousands’, of trash objects in the sky, including used car lot balloons. So not only did our Air Force get a direct hit, they also got an incredible deal on a pre-owned Buick Regal.” —Stephen Colbert

“There is news that researchers are closing in on a male birth control pill, with a pill that will stop sperm from swimming for an hour. The drug has been tested in mice, and after ingesting it, none of the mice got any women pregnant, so that’s good. They say their ultimate plan is to crush the pills up, put them into a tranquilizer dart, and hide in a tree outside Nick Cannon’s house.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Her cause of death was listed as answered prayer (So rough and without consent?)

January 2023

Donald Trump responded to reports that Ron DeSantis will run against him for the Republican nomination saying, ‘we’ll handle this the way I handle things.’ So rough and without consent? —Michael Che

The population of China has declined by 850,000 people. Thanks to an increase in China’s leading cause of death, protesting. China plans to reverse the population decline with an emergency import of Nick Cannon. —Michael Che

A San Francisco panel studying reparations is proposing giving every black resident a one-time payment of $5 Million. That’s a fantastic idea, said the Gucci store. —Michael Che

A Catholic nun in France who was believed to be the oldest person in the world has died at the age of 118. Her cause of death was listed as answered prayer. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Only five babies in nine years? (Their main demand is more play time)

December 2022

An Apple factory in China is expected to cut iPhones by 6 million in response to worker protests. Their main demand is more play time. —Michael Che

This week marks the 40th anniversary of the classic Michael Jackson album, Thriller. And say what you will about Michael Jackson, but he definitely had a huge effect on a lot of people’s childhoods. —Michael Che

Merriam-Webster announced that its word of the year is gaslighting. Gaslighting if you don’t know is a word my ex made up to magically win arguments she was losing. —Michael Che

A police officer in New York State is being called the Baby Whisperer after he helped deliver his fifth baby in nine years. ‘Only five babies in nine years?’, said Nick Cannon. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or, and hear me out, flamingos look like other flamingos (past marijuana use)

April 2022

U.S. officials are concerned that Vladimir Putin is keeping military units positioned near Kyiv despite earlier promises to withdraw. Putin’s failure to pull out has earned him the nickname Nick Cannon. —Michael Che

According to a new study, men who eat too much meat are raising the risk of becoming infertile. On the other hand, Donald Trump has five kids that we know of. —Michael Che

Wildlife officials say that a flamingo that escaped from a Kansas zoo 17 years ago has been spotted in Texas. Or, and hear me out, flamingos look like other flamingos. —Michael Che

In a recent interview, Tyler Perry revealed that he has used his Madea voice while having sex. Damn. Dude must like sex dry as hell. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”