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Showing posts with label Jessica Alba. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jessica Alba. Show all posts

Sunday, July 9, 2017

I think that’s a great lesson for kids -- always clean up your own mess (Bucket List)



"While she was addressing the crowd, Sarah Palin spent a lot of time criticizing Barack Obama’s campaign speeches for not having enough specifics. Obama was reportedly angry about the claim, but didn’t say exactly why." --Conan O'Brien

"Today, the Mayor of Detroit agreed to plead guilty to obstruction of justice charges. Yeah, as punishment, he will be required to serve out his full term as Mayor of Detroit." --Conan O'Brien

"One of the big themes for convention speakers was that we need to elect a Republican that will go in and clean up the mess in Washington. I think that’s a great lesson for kids -- always clean up your own mess." --Jimmy Kimmel




Thursday, April 6, 2017

Apparently negative is the new positive (got a new slogan)



"Apparently negative is the new positive. Now the media is trying to goad Barack Obama into taking the gloves off. And I'm not so sure this strategy is any good, you know, having a young black man attack a 60-year-old white lady? She loves to play the victim. She's already got a new slogan, 'Hillary Clinton: Please, just take my purse and leave me alone.'" --Bill Maher

"But it's interesting, this race is so even that each side could make the case that they should be the nominee, and neither one of them is going anywhere. Which, I think it's a bad sign for the country, when the Democratic campaign is predicted to last longer than the Republican nominee." --Bill Maher

"Hillary's been going around saying, 'I've been tested.' John McCain also said, 'I've been tested, and luckily the tests came back negative, knock on wood.'" --Bill Maher




Thursday, September 8, 2016

I saw Trump at Ann Taylor Loft yelling at a mannequin (full of same thing)



Donald Trump has just revealed that he’s not practicing for the upcoming debates in a “traditional” way, and has not been using a stand-in for Hillary. Which explains why today I saw Trump at Ann Taylor Loft yelling at a mannequin. “That sweater set isn’t very presidential! Sad!” –Jimmy Fallon
Today, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said he’s endorsing Hillary Clinton for president. Well, actually what he said was, “I have an endorsement for . . . Hilarity? Is there a Hilarity here? Hillberry? Hill-am-bee?” –Jimmy Fallon
Jessica Alba’s Honest Company is selling “bipartisan diapers” featuring the Democratic donkey and Republican elephant holding hands. Because at the end of the day, both Republicans and Democrats are basically full of the same thing. –Jimmy Fallon