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Showing posts with label Bob Ney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bob Ney. Show all posts

Monday, November 28, 2022

Everyone knows he is an orchid guy, so that's a bit of a f— you (But the bribes miraculously lasted for 8 whole days)


"Yes, (Jack Abramoff attended) only two Hanukkah receptions (at the White House). But the bribes miraculously lasted for 8 whole days." --Jon Stewart

 

"The Republican Party is still dealing with the fallout from the Jack Abramoff corruption scandal. The latest victim: Ohio Congressman and Three-Time World Comb-Over Champion Bob Ney. Ney stepped down from his position as House Administration Committee chairman this week while he's under investigation. That chairmanship goes to the next highest ranking Republican on the committee, Representative Giant Pile Of Jack Abramoff's Money." –Jon Stewart


"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad became the first Middle Eastern leader to visit Iraq since Saddam Hussein fell, of let's say natural causes. Obviously, a visit from the Iranian leader to Iraq prompts some concern, and still President Bush has a clear message he would like the Iraqis to deliver to Ahmadinejad [on screen: President Bush saying, 'The message needs to be quit sending in sophisticated equipment that is killing our citizens. Stop exporting terror. The international community is serious about continuing to isolate Iran']. A strong message to send, but the Iraqi government owes us. I mean, they owe their life to us. Certainly the president's message will be delivered. Here's Ahmadinejad getting off the plane. They'll hit him. Wait, what? [on screen: Ahmadinejad arrives to a red carpet and a child with flowers]. There appears to be kissing. Alright, now here's where they'll execute him. No, he's being greeted by a child with flowers. A red carpet and a child with flowers. Okay. To the untrained eye that may appear to be gracious, maybe even a warm welcome, but I do want to point out that that little girl gave him chrysanthemums. Everyone knows he is an orchid guy, so that's a bit of a f— you." --Jon Stewart


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Lawrence of Arythmia/The Oilamo/Giant Pile Of Jack Abramoff's Money



"Vice President Cheney is on an extended tour of the Middle East. They love him over there. They call him Lawrence of Arythmia." --David Letterman

"The Republican Party is still dealing with the fallout from the Jack Abramoff corruption scandal. The latest victim: Ohio Congressman and Three-Time World Comb-Over Champion Bob Ney. Ney stepped down from his position as House Administration Committee chairman this week while he's under investigation. That chairmanship goes to the next highest ranking Republican on the committee, Representative Giant Pile Of Jack Abramoff's Money." --Jon Stewart

"During the Senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee  Samuel Alito, tempers boiled when  Sen. Ted Kennedy threatened to subpoena records of the controversial group Concerned Alumni of Princeton, and chairman Arlen Specter had to slam his gavel twice before boredom was restored. " --Tina Fey



Sunday, June 5, 2016

that now makes alcohol responsible for corruption, anti-semitism, and homosexual pedophilia



"The former Republican congressman sent suggestive e-mails to underage pages since as far back 2000, but he was caught, he resigned and he went into rehab. They got up him hooked up to a steady drip of Tiger Beat magazines and he's doing great."--Stephen Colbert

"This weekend Ohio Republican Bob Ney plead guilty to Abramoff-related bribery and corruption charges. Congressman Ney's district encompasses -- this is true -- most of Licking County, Ohio. Which early odds have it will also be the nickname of his jail cell. Ney asked for leniency in sentencing because he says he has a drinking problem. If you're keeping score at home, that now makes alcohol responsible for corruption, anti-semitism, and homosexual pedophilia." --Jon Stewart

"A strong 6.6 magnitude earthquake hit Hawaii yesterday morning. Pretty scary. President Bush says he wants to do anything he can to help them because he considers Hawaii to be one of our strongest allies. Of course, FEMA was there immediately. Actually, some FEMA had arrived a day earlier to assess the the damage from the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor." --Jay Leno