The apple can fall from the tree and land in a billionaire wine cave (they actually get 72 raisins)

"The good news for al-Zarqawi is according to Islamic law, he does get 72 virgins. The bad news is they're all William Hung. Actually there is some disagreement among those who study the Koran about whether so-called martyrs get 72 virgins. Many say it is a mistranslation and they actually get 72 raisins." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The Dow fell 504 points yesterday. I'll be honest, I have no idea what that means, but apparently it's really bad. On Wall Street they were calling it Black Monday. And John McCain was quick to point out it was Black Monday, not Old White Monday." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Cheney sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”