“Here’s the thing, people: these hearings are investigating whether the president of the United States committed high crimes or misdemeanors. So they’re supposed to be serious, not about excitement. You know, impeachment is like a family reunion: If it’s sexy, something has gone horribly wrong.’” --Trevor Noah
“You know what’s funny is how when it was Hillary's scandal, Fox News was like, ‘Now as we well know, Benghazi isn’t just home to Libya’s signature dish, bazin, it’s also a hotbed of support for Ansar al-Sharia, especially around Tahrir Square. This is a big thing in Libya.’ When it’s a Donald Trump scandal, all of a sudden they’re like, ‘What’s a Ukraine? Ukraine? Do you crane? Do I crane? Frasier Crane? The bird crane?’” --Trevor Noah
“And you know it says in the Constitution, a sitting president cannot be found guilty of a crime if the trial leading up to it is boring.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”