Friday, May 17, 2019

You're lucky to be here on a night with a steak joke (No, I wanted exposed BRICK)

A Washington, D.C., condo that is currently up for sale has gained attention online after Internet users discovered that a listing photo of the property accidentally included a man's penis. Said prospective buyers, "No, I wanted exposed BRICK." --Seth Meyers

Oatmeal, how are you even a thing? Did somebody see a horse eating from a bucket and say, “I'll have what he's having?” Oatmeal, quit creaming my wheat. Ya burnt! --Seth Meyers
Police in Ohio recently arrested a man for allegedly stealing meat from a supermarket after catching him with steak in his pants. The steak was visible, because he only hid it medium well. You're lucky to be here on a night with a steak joke. They're pretty rare. I thought that was pretty well done. --Seth Meyers “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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