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Friday, May 5, 2017

George W. Bush Action Figures! (Awake but incoherent)



"And they make a big deal about everything. She was talking about she was visiting Bosnia and they had to crawl to the airport under sniper fire. And they did out the footage and every thing was like [on screen: Letterman imitating Hillary smiling and waving]. 'Hey, how ya doin'? Nice to see ya.' Well, she says the reason she said that was because of sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation. So I'm thinking, she'll be great on those 3 a.m. phone calls, won't she? Awake but incoherent." --David Letterman

"Now in the primary itself, this weekend, Obama wooed Pennsylvania's blue collar bowling vote by hitting the lanes [on screen: Obama throws a gutterball]. Actually hitting the sides of the lanes. Out of a possible score of 300, the Illinois senator scored a 37. He should have tried rolling it through his legs, like my six-year-old. It was the most disgraceful act of bowling by a politician since President Richard Nixon secretly dropped bowling balls on Cambodia." --Stephen Colbert




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